5 Steps for Patience

I’ve messed up relationships. Projects too. And days of my life. All because I was impatient. So, that got me asking how I can become more patient. I came up with this strategy that can help you too.

Let’s start by deciding what patience is. After looking at a few dictionary definitions of patience, I came up with my own one:

To be patient is to be calmly persevering in the execution of a difficult task, without getting deterred by obstacles, disappointments or provocation.

If we unpack that definition five pearls of wisdom reveal themselves.

1. Stay calm
Our definition starts with being calm. Calm is a feeling you have inside yourself. When you’re calm, there’s no turmoil in your body. When you feel impatient try this: Reconnect with that sense of calmness. Take deep breaths. Think of a situation where you were completely calm. How did you feel then? Why were you calm then? Borrow from that situation.

2. Keep at it
The next part has to do with persevering. It means you understand what you’re doing is going to take time. You accept you’re not going to get it right the first time. When your patience starts feeling frayed, think in this way: being patient has to do with focusing on the here and the now with all of your attention. And the reason why you can just be here in this very moment one hundred percent is because you can look forward to everlasting bliss with your heavenly Father. Because your eternity is secure, you can show up for your present with all you have.

3. The test is in the doing
Our definition then tells us impatience has to do with execution. We usually get impatient when we’re attempting to do something. When we’re patient, we’re not doing anything in a hurry or suddenly. We don’t yell and we don’t grab things from other people’s hands to do something ourselves. Use this knowledge to help you detect when you’re becoming impatient. Are you acting hastily or feverishly? Once you notice this, gently bring yourself back to calm, slow action.

4. Difficult tasks need patience the most
In difficult tasks our patience is tested most, as we can see from our definition. But the difficult tasks are usually also the ones most worthwhile. Teaching a child something, restoring a relationship, figuring out how to do something hard that can change your life. I remind myself of this whenever I feel impatient.

5. Expect obstacles to show up
The last part of our definition of patience has to do with the inevitable obstacles. Here’s a good tip: expect those obstacles. Brace yourself for the possible disappointments before they arrive. Be ready for the provocation from other people. The best way to do that? Plan in advance what you’re going to do when the obstacles, disappointments and provocation arise. Have some tactics on hand because they will invariably show up. Here are some strategies to consider: take a short break, remind yourself of some of the points we’ve already covered, breathe, talk to yourself, pray.

My favorite in-advance strategy is to memorize a verse from the Bible that can carry me through. I especially love this one where Christ tells his disciples in Luke 21: 19, “By your patience possess your souls.”

Exactly what we want to do: possess our souls, be in command of them, have authority over them. And our Lord Jesus tells us the way to do that is with our patience. Which makes this skill one of the best ones we can have.

Risa is a life coach. You can follow her on Instagram where she often shares useful ideas with fellow Christians. Her handle is risa4coaching.