A Simplified Life
As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, you should keep it. If you were to give it up in a mood of self-sacrifice or out of a stern sense of duty, you would continue to want it back, and that unsatisfied want would make trouble for you. Only give up a thing when you want some other condition so much that the thing no longer has any attraction for you, or when it seems to interfere with that which is more greatly desired. Mahatma Gandhi
When my husband and I were starting out on our married journey, we had many hopes and dreams, most all centered around material things – a nice home, nice furniture, decent clothes, cars that didn’t quit on a dime. When we built our first home, we chose the floorplan, the brick color, the upgrades if we could afford them. The thrill was palpable. We felt like we had arrived. No more apartments, no more climbing stairs, no more putting up with close neighbors. The night before we moved in, I was so excited I could not sleep. The thrill lasted a while. Times were good, relationships formed with neighbors, the children were happy in our new neighborhood.
Then friends moved away to bigger homes. All of a sudden, our little home didn’t have the same thrill. We needed a bigger home, so we thought. We would be happier in a bigger home. When we turned 40, we purchased a home twice the size of our first one. There were more rooms to fill, more furniture to buy, more windows to cover, more things, more things, more things. And the things made us happy – for a while.
Our boys left home, went to college, got married and started acquiring their own things. My husband and I realized the only joy in the material stuff was in the sharing of it with others. So we had parties, gave showers, had get-togethers and dinners. We found great joy in sharing what we had with others. We found that in and of itself, things did not bring happiness. You think it will at the time, but that feeling fades faster than it came.
During the pandemic, when life shut down for a season, and the parties stopped, and our home stood empty except for us, we began to realize all the material things we had acquired in 47 years of marriage not only did not bring joy, but quite the opposite, they began to feel like a burden, a heavy weight we had placed upon ourselves. I had a very strong urge to purge myself of all the excess.
I began to analyze why this was happening. At first, I thought it was a natural rite of passage as one gets older. I have seen many elderly people want to downsize. Is this how we are built? Is there a reason we want to do this? Perhaps, I thought, people desire to purge so their families won’t have to after they are gone. Or people decide to downsize because taking care of all their earthly belongings becomes too great a task for them.
To be quite honest, strangely enough, I didn’t even want the house anymore, the house that had once brought great joy to many people in our lives. The house we had lived in for 28 years no longer had a real hold over me. My husband and I had a conversation about my need to get rid of things.
He brought my attention to the many older people we know who still strive to continue to acquire material things as if they were a badge of honor. So, this was not a rite of passage I was feeling. Then what was it? My husband explained it is what is at a person’s core. What is the motor that runs them? What is the motivator? What brings them the greatest satisfaction? It was then I realized I had had all the things a person could want, and where they once brought me joy, that joy was not lasting. It didn’t satisfy me. What was in my core was relationships, experiences, change, new revelations, longing for uncharted territory.
In the midst of this newfound revelation about me, my husband and I sold our country property and bought a cute little two bedroom, one bath, weekend house on the bay in San Leon, TX with yellow siding and blue shutters. We furnished it in a cozy cottage style with a light and airy feel. All who enter feel at home and at peace. Who knows, we may one day live in that little house, nearly a third the size of what I live in now. I have a lot to purge to make that happen.
The Bible has much to say about material things. John the evangelist wrote “For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions – is not from the Father but is from the world.” Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Written in Proverbs is the admonition to not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. When your eyes light on it, it is gone, for suddenly it sprouts wings, flying like an eagle toward heaven. It is true that Godliness with contentment is great gain. Contentment is the heart of the matter. What are you content with?
Ecclesiastes 5: 10 – Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.
11 – As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owners except to feast their eyes on them?
12 – The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether they eat little or much, but as for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep.
