Ask Dr. K

Dear Dr. K,

Recently my husband’s ex-girlfriend has been coming to him for advise regarding a business she has recently started. She lives out of town and he is open about letting me see her texts and emails.Her business is in the same field that my husband used to work in. So far the correspondence has been friendly but professional. I am concerned because lately my husband and I have been experience money trouble and he does seem genuinely glad to have this relationship opened-up again.  It doesn’t help that she was the one who broke-up with him and has since said that she regretting it.

What should I do?

Worried Wife 

Dear Worried Wife,

This indeed sounds like a tricky situation. While you have been open to your husband communicating with your ex, it sounds like you are now changing your mind and that is ok. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel, to remain honest with yourself and your husband about how you are starting to feel in your heart.  If you are uncomfortable, tell him. While you understand the things your husband and his ex have in common, you are allowed to have a. different perspective and set new boundaries based on the way you are currently feeling. Our womanly instincts tend to never steer us in the wrong direction. Trust your gut and listen to how you feel.  Be honest with your husband and explain to him that you are beginning to feel uncomfortable with the relationship and you would like him to set up some distance and boundaries between the two of them. Speaking up for yourself will alleviate the relationship from going any further and give your husband the opportunity to put in place the limits that you are comfortable with. It sounds like you and your husband have a solid connection and with proper communication, this will be a thing of the past and the two of you will be able to move beyond it in a healthy way. My prayers as you use your voice walk in your power as a woman and as a wife.

Sincerely,
Dr.K