I DO! – Prodigal Daughter – June 21st

I DO
June 21, 2021

Prodigal Daughter

Luke 15:20-24, ‘So the young son set off for home. From a long distance away, his father saw him coming, dressed as a beggar, and great compassion swelled up in his heart for his son who was returning home. The father raced out to meet him, swept him up in his arms, hugged him dearly, and kissed him over and over with tender love. Then the son said, “Father, I was wrong. I have sinned against you. I could never deserve to be called your son. Just let me be—” The father interrupted and said, “Son! You’re home now!” Turning to his servants, the father said, “Quick! Bring me the best robe, my very own robe, and I will place it on his shoulders. Bring the ring, the seal of sonship, and I will put it on his finger. And bring out the best shoes you can find for my son. Let’s prepare a great feast and celebrate. For my beloved son was once dead, but now he’s alive. Once he was lost, but now he is found!” And everyone celebrated with overflowing joy.’ (TPT)

I can’t quite recall the day I demanded my inheritance, but I am sure I did. Even if I didn’t voice it aloud, I know I made it known. Suddenly, there it was, tucked safely inside my little shoulder bag, buried beneath what few possessions I had chosen to take with me. I didn’t pack much; I intended to replace it all anyway, like a burning, a ridding ceremony. My new life likely wouldn’t fit inside the perimeters of my old one.

I couldn’t bear to look my father’s way. I mumbled something and downcast my eyes and refused to look in his direction. His emotion was palatable in the space between us. I felt his tears upon my face as I walked away, walked away from it all, denying I felt his heart pounding in my chest, his hurt pulsing in my veins. I was FREE! I couldn’t turn around and wave goodbye; that would admit defeat and question my internal curiosity about my ability to cut the cord.

That was so long ago now I forgot what home looks like. I won’t allow myself to imagine my father’s face; that keen look in his eyes. His words have haunted me for a while now. ‘Be safe, little one. It’s a jungle out there. When you are used up, remember you always have a place to come back to.’ He wasn’t kidding. It is more than a jungle out here! I didn’t expect a world to shut down around me. In fact, I can’t bring myself to admit how naïve I was.

I thought all those people were my friends, interested in me! They could have cared a less. Once the fountain I fixed which flowed before my newfound friends dried up, so did they. I don’t recall one person who wandered after me. I ponder that now as I weigh things in my feeble hands. This ‘I Do’ vs that ‘I Do’. Ahhh! They boasted so much and delivered so little. My father, my life, everything I knew, boasted so little and delivered so much; everything promised, everything produced.

I hung my head. Tired, defeated. Done with rolling in the slop that pigs eat when my father owns the cattle on a thousand hillsides. What stands between here and there, I ponder. I swallow. My pride, I realize. I want to return, dressed in the status I once wore carelessly. I know; no one, especially my father, will ever look at me the same again. A battle wages but soon it is certain what I must do. I will die here in this place, this place that has sucked the life from me, that levied my future debating my past.
The road was long and dirty. I was going to have to crawl the final mile on my knees, because my feet were so blistered, they could no longer touch the road I walked on. That was fitting though; I should crawl home on my hands and knees.

I cupped my eyes, narrowed my focus at a long way off. The cry that escaped my lips fell out like a surprise. He was running toward me from a great distance, His arms flung wider with every step He took. God, I missed Him, my Father, Who I had been trying so desperately to hide and run from, now was running toward me, eager to snatch me up in His embrace.

Just as He reached me, I stumbled and fell forward, letting myself go, falling into Him. Enveloping me in His strength, He pulled me close, wrapping me in Grace and showering me with love. I was home. I had wandered and been lost and squandered, well, everything, really. Suddenly I was found; had been assumed dead but at once came alive as He carried me home.

What a promise ‘I Do’ is! Whether we are committing to a person or simply being intentional in life, our word should be a cherished commodity. This month, journey with me in ‘I Do’ moments which are an oath, a vow, a pact, a pledge, an honorarium.