Back to School Worries

The golden beams of the setting sun flickered through the fluttering leaves of the nearby trees. I noticed the changing light as I was walking in the summer evening. Somehow, in late summer, the sun exchanges its bright rays for the more gentle tones of autumn. The realization shocked me as I realized that summer has begun its farewells. For my family, along with many others, this means school is starting up soon. 

Getting ready for school always makes me think of You’ve Got Mail and bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils. But it also seems to open again that deep pit of anxiety that I’ve managed to ignore over the summer. Many of us sent out kids to school last year or did virtual learning or homeschool because of the pandemic. This school year, many of us are faced with the same questions: What is the right choice for my child? How will this choice impact my child? How will it impact my family? How will it impact my job? My mental health? “Father, I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure I can go through another school year like this again.” 

This summer, I’ve been part of an online book club studying “A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23” by W. Phillip Keller. In this short book, the author describes his experiences as a former shepherd to guide us through the beloved Psalm. I’ve read this Psalm many times over the course of this summer and keep returning to it for comfort during this new season of school and unanswered questions. 

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
–Psalm 23: 1-6

Keller reminds us in his book that God guides us through each season of our life. “[M]y Master, my Friend, my Owner has things under control even when they may appear calamitous…God’s gracious Spirit…comes quietly to reassure us that Christ Himself is aware of our dilemma and deeply involved with us.”  God with us. In our mountaintops, in our valleys. In our strides of certainty and in our halting, hesitating, shuffling footsteps. 

We are not promised that this year will be easy. It might be. It might be the most incredible year. It might be harder than we can imagine. But God. He promises to remain alongside us each step of the way. And so we do the only thing we can do – we pray. We call out to the One who knows the future and ask for His mercy, His guidance to lead us as a shepherd leads his sheep through unknown territory. The shepherd has already traveled these roads; nothing surprises him. 

As he teaches through Psalm 23, Keller describes how, as a shepherd, he would take a survey trip through an area that he had planned to take his sheep. While there, he would make sure there was a source of clean water, and he would clear away poisonous weeds. His goal was to take them to a place of good pasture where the sheep could feed on some of the best grasslands. Often, the trip was dangerous and difficult. Keller reminds us that it is often similar in our lives: “Many of the places we may be led into will appear to us as dark, deep, dangerous and somewhat disagreeable…He is there with us in it…this deep, dark place is bound to produce a benefit for me.” 

These past months of dealing with the questions surrounding COVID-19 and schooling have seemed like a disagreeable, dark place. It’s not a journey I have relished, and I’m betting you haven’t either. If you’re like me, you are probably wishing for some predictability right now, but the future’s not ours to predict. We can only stand with open hands to receive what God allows into our lives. The way might be dangerous and deep, but we are not alone. We fight the darkness and stand in the Light. 

Whatever choice you make this year for you and for your kids, remember that God is for you. He is for your kids. They are precious to Him. You are precious to Him. Trust the Shepherd to lead you gently over this rocky ground.