Best Detour Ever

I stood there body trembling, uncontrollable tears running down my face with my hands lifted high in praise. The band was belting out the song that had become my mantra for the season, live from the stage, causing my already overwhelmed heart to leak out through my eyes. Bubbling up from the depths of my soul was an undeniable knowing that I was precisely where I was supposed to be for the first time in my life.

I was at a Christian women’s writers conference 1800 miles from my Colorado home. On a whim, I had registered for it just after being demoted from my role in my corporate job. The shame and disillusion that had come after the initial shock-wave had put me on my knees to process for days. I was supposed to have been on the brink of promotion after striving to get one for three years. A demotion was inconceivable. It was devastating.

But one evening I received a notification that a women’s Christian writing conference was open for registration. It was the third time in three years that I had seen the invitation to join. All the times prior I had just glanced over it with the longing in my heart quickly shoved away – locked behind the door labeled impractical.

As a kid, I had dreamed of being a writer. I even had a short story that won first place in an elementary school contest and was published. But responsibilities and a few monumentally bad choices, like becoming a single mom in my early twenties had buried that dream. It was ridiculous to think I could be a writer. Right? Bills are a real thing in this world. I now have five mouths to feed and keep a roof over their heads.

This time though, I couldn’t shove past it. Like a mosquito drawn toward the light, I could not take my eyes away from the short excerpt that was called to the deep. I clicked the link and kept reading as my heart rate increased. Suddenly, filled with Holy Spirit fervor, I registered, bought my plane ticket, and booked my hotel within an hour.

God had spoken, I was going and nothing was going to stop me.

Fast forward two years and I can see that the demotion was the best detour God has ever graced me with. I had been driving my life down the highway I was never created to travel. Attempting year after year to gain the definition of worldly success had nearly robbed me of the true desires in my heart and God wanted me to have them back.

But it was a detour that called for radical obedience to get back on the road God predestined for me. I had to hope in things that were so unseen they seemed unfeasible. I had to believe God had chosen me and called me in the face of extreme adversity and rejection. Two of my least favorite things.
I had to learn to go slowly with God in the driver’s seat and not take the wheel when we seemed to be headed in a strange direction. Which was almost always. I could never see over the next hill. I had to believe that God could. The twists and turns were puzzling. I had to believe He had the better map.

But on the road, I experienced the truth that God wants to give us the desires of hearts. After all, He put them there and they are typically the things that bring Him the most glory. We don’t usually have to search too far to find them either. They are those dreams that won’t go away. The longings that keep tugging at our heartstrings even as we try to lock them away.

What if it is God who is doing the tugging? Maybe instead of shoving it away, we leaned forward, just a little to see what God is up to? What if God is detouring you to the road you were created to travel? The one your heart truly longs for.

He is that good you know.

I’m still riding in the car with God today. I am certainly on a different road than I had ever imagined, but it is one that makes my heart soar. My journey is far from over. I still attempt to drive from the passenger seat now and then, but I am much better at seeing God wink at me and say, “calm down dear, I’ve got this.” And I am much better at believing He does.