Blended Family
Like most people, when I hear the words “blended family” I think of children in the equation. For me, it was children of the four-legged kind, our pet-kids!
My now husband, Mark, and I came in to our relationship as package deals. He with Ellie, a 7-year old honey colored Lab and me with Bentley, a 9-month old tri-colored (black, white & brown) Shitzu-Maltese mix. And I can’t forget my tuxedo kitty Pepper who shared a love/hate relationship with Bentley … lovingly batting him with her paws and hating to leave him alone when he was ignoring her.
It was love at first sight for Ellie and I! The memory will forever remain vivid. Mark pulling in the driveway of my house that perfect early Saturday morning in July, Ellie’s head out the car window in the back seat not taking her eyes off of me as I stood in the doorway. Mark opening the car door and Ellie jumping out, running towards me, greeting me like a long lost friend. Then making her way in to the house, not missing a beat as she introduced herself to Bentley all while Pepper kitty observed from her perch in the dining room window.
That first summer Mark, the pups and I enjoyed walks in the park, swimming in the creek, ice cream treats and so much more. By early spring of the following year we were indeed a blended family, Mark and Ellie had officially moved in. Ellie ever so gently taught Bentley the ropes of having run of the house while Bentley followed her around the house (and everywhere else) like the little puppy that he was. They played for hours, snuggled up in the backseat of the car when we traveled and enjoyed the fireplace on those cold winter days and nights that we have so many of here in Upstate New York.
Four years in Mark and I got married. Two years later, our daughter and son-in-law blessed us with the gift of becoming grandparents to Gracie. It was during Gracie’s first sleepover at the age of three months, that Ellie became her self-appointed guardian. With the passing months there were more sleepovers and as Gracie learned to crawl and then walk, her best friend Ellie kept a watchful eye and was ready to leap into action whenever Gracie was about to fall or go where she shouldn’t. No one could stop Grace’s tears faster than Ellie as she loving licked them off her face.
I treasured each moment of the life we were building. Time took on an entire new meaning, precious and never enough of it for all of us to be together, human, canine & feline alike. Mark would say it’s because we were so happy and while I would agree, for me it went so much deeper. Why? Well, my first marriage lasted 23 years, the majority of which was filled with verbal abuse, disrespect, separation, and bullying at the hand of my then husband. When I finally stepped into my own voice and out of that marriage, my life truly started. The path would lead to a career where I grew both professionally, personally and spiritually. A path that paved the road to setting down roots in a new town as a single woman who had just purchased her first home on her own. I didn’t dare to even think about finding love, about sharing my home with anyone other than one or two pet kids.
The years continued to fly by, and along the way there was so much joy and with it a few strong doses of sorrow. Pepper kitty crossed the rainbow bridge that first Thanksgiving we were all together. The following year in May Shiloah kitty joined our family (a stray found by a colleague of my husband). That same year, in July, Ellie had to have surgery to remove bladder stones and Bentley wouldn’t leave her side while she recuperated. Shortly after Ellie getting well Bentley developed seizures and with each one Ellie was there to comfort and reassure her little buddy.
It was Ellie’s follow up appointment after her bladder surgery that our vet advised that she needed to lose some weight, at least 10-15 pounds. The next day we started a new routine. When Mark left for work at 4:30am, Ellie and I were ready to head out the door for our morning walk. We started slow, just around the neighborhood and after a few weeks, graduated to two miles most every morning. We were both feeling and looking better (and losing weight). It was during one of those early mornings as I was preparing us to head out for our walk that I noticed Ellie was limping. An emergency trip to the
vet revealed the mass growing on her inner left back leg was the culprit for the limp. Labs are prone to fatty masses as they age and our Ellie girl sadly was no exception. Our walking days were over.
Fatty masses continued to pop up on Ellie’s body. Her youthful, playful days were soon behind her. Even Bentley’s coaxing to play didn’t engage her except to move from one spot on the floor to another to get away from him. Bentley would retreat to his bed.
Over the next several months, Ellie’s movements became more labored. Getting off and on the back deck to get out on to the backyard became more and more painful. Mark & I decided it was time to send our precious girl across the rainbow bridge. Five days later, on a rainy, Friday fall October day, as Ellie laid on the floor of our living room, front paws crossed, her head resting comfortably over her paws with Mark and I on either side of her and Bentley in my lap, our vet helped her cross over the rainbow bridge.
That weekend following Ellie’s death, we disconnected from the world, choosing to go dark and mourn. It was that Saturday afternoon, while Bentley was sleeping atop the pillows of the couch facing out towards the backyard, and as Mark and I were stretched out on the couch reading that we were jolted from our peace & quiet. Bentley, who normally barks at the slightest movement/sound outside opened his eyes, looked around and proceeded to go back to sleep. Mark & I looked at each other and at the same time uttered “did you hear that?” We both heard it. It was as clear as it had been over all those years before she was debilitated … there was no mistaking it … Ellie bounding up on the deck. Our Ellie girl was now our Ellie angel and had come home one more time to say good-bye … to say she is free.
