Eight Myths About Homeschooling
“What about socialization?” This question was posed to me quite frequently in my twenty years of homeschooling. It is one of the myths that have been circulating and, in my opinion, undermining the beauty of homeschooling.
These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NIV
Homeschooling our children is a privilege. Our homes are to be a place of learning – not just academics, but the things of God. As well as societal manners, how to serve and how to love our neighbors.
Considering the forced rise of homeschooling this past year, many families have been faced with decisions to keep going with homeschooling, send their children back to ‘regular’ or pre-pandemic schooling, or a hybrid of the two. It’s not an easy decision, nor one that is to be taken lightly.
What should be taken into consideration are the myths that surround homeschooling. And there are many.
SOCIALIZATION – Frankly, this term is really only used in reference to homeschooling. Why is that? My guess is that one homeschooling family that we’ve all seen that is a little obscure. So, we base our opinion on that one family. Or one awkward child – even though many of us are awkward at times in our lives. In reflecting on my time doing the paces of daily teaching at home, I realized something long ago: who taught me to lie? Cheat? Who gave me wrong information? Who did I play hooky with in high school? Swear? My peers. Children my own age. To quote my friend Cynthia, “Homeschool people need socializing. I hated this myth! I don’t want my children socialized by kids their age!” We spend the majority of our time with adults because childhood is rather short in duration. Children who spend time with caring, loving, adults will grow exponentially in their ability to interact with those whom they will engage with the rest of their lives – adults.
TEACHER’S DEGREE – To debunk this myth, one has to know the laws that govern homeschooling in the state where the teaching is done – and for other countries, what laws are in place for schooling. A very helpful organization is Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HSLDA), and it has information for each individual state or country, and its legal requirements for teachers, students, curriculum and more. A quick call to them will answer many questions. ( https://hslda.org/ or 540-338-5600).
SCHEDULE – The need to follow a schedule set by the public school. Again, each individual state has its own laws, but for us in California for instance, this is not something that is required. Certain hours of the day and certain number of days for instruction are not mandated by the state. For instance, a homeschooler can (and should) be able to accomplish her day’s schooling by lunch. Class sizes are much smaller as well as tailored to the individual student. As an example – we started school at 9 AM and were done by noon. Younger grades should be in school for 1 to 2 hours maximum. It’s a very concentrated environment, with attention given to each student at his/her level. It is best to call HSLDA to determine your legal obligation as a homeschool in your specific state/country.
TEACH AT AGE/GRADE LEVEL – If my child is a certain age, then he/she has to be in a certain grade. One of the most freeing aspects of homeschooling is the ability to teach each child individually. And to go at a pace that is best suited for the child. No one learns at the same rate. To quote my friend Lisa, “Homeschoolers aren’t necessarily smarter than other kids, but the individualized education and ability to customize curriculum for each child, as well as an ability to ignite passions in a child and get him interested in what he’s learning about, go far in educating the whole individual.” When my oldest was about five years old, I met with a curriculum specialist because I wanted to be sure I was doing the best I could given the resources I had for him and my other children. She was very reassuring in calming my fears that I was not adequately teaching my son. She pointed out that not all children read by age five but will most likely be reading by age 7. A lot of children do begin to read at 5, but many do not. A little to be talked about truth, so don’t panic if your young child is not reading. A five year old child has large motor skills that she is working on so the smaller or finer ones tend to take a back seat until the larger ones are mastered – learning to ride a bike, a scooter, soccer, ballet, etc. Fine motor skills and reading, if not mastered by age 5 would come and come quickly after the other larger motor skills were mastered. This proved to be true in my own home. My son learned reading by 5, but both of my daughters did not learn until age 7. If I had not listened to her, I would have had two frustrated students and been very frustrated myself. The specialist suggested I put the reading aside until my children mastered the more physical elements of growing up, then pick up the reading when they were ready.
PRESCHOOL – My child has to attend preschool in order to succeed. The nature of homeschool is learning at home. And essentially that learning does not have set hours. Granted reading, writing and math should be done in a systematic way, but, there is much to be learned that is a normal part of life. For a toddler, all of life is a classroom. With older children in the home in school, the younger ones will learn what their older siblings are learning. They are usually in the same room and listening. Doing preschool work for the sake of preschool work is not a necessary requirement. Your child may want to have his own work to do, but it can and should be activities that spark imagination and creative play – play-dough, salt letters, blocks, coloring, etc.
SWEATS – Schooling at home does not have to be done in sweats. If you are dressed for the part, then your work will reflect that. This is a core value that my husband uses for his office and it does work well. For instance, if an employee shows up in shorts and flip flops in his professional office, then the work produced by that employee will reflect the casual clothes. My youngest daughter is the one who wanted this myth debunked. Throughout the years people would often ask if my children went to school in their sweats. And each can honestly say that they made their beds, brushed their teeth, had breakfast and got dressed every morning. For them school was important and they took it seriously.
ONE SIZE FITS ALL – As stated earlier, every child learns at a different pace. With schooling in our home, we took an approach of “Delight Directed Learning.” The core subjects were not an option – math, reading, writing; but there are many other subjects to be taught/learned. My son loved trains and anything mechanical. My daughters loved gardening, the arts and music. We all practiced animal husbandry because we live on a farm. Cooking was a passion too, so we provided many opportunities to learn the skills – to this day each of my children are master chefs. Directing our children in their passions free us up as parents of teaching subjects that are not of interest to our children. My husband loves sciences, so he taught those based on the children’s ages and interests. One year, chemistry was taught and things were exploding – each had a blast. Giving time to these pursuits is part of the school day – not to replace the 3 R’s, but to augment and add to the child’s learning. Usually children will go through the dinosaur phase, the ballerina phase, caring for sick animals, etc. While each phase is in full swing, embrace it and provide resources for the child to learn as much as he is interested. Library visits, museum visits, chatting with an old timer who loves trains, goes a long way to aid in teaching our children. When a child is motivated to learn a subject, then he is learning how to look things up for himself, how to learn, how to find out how things work. These skills are vital in an adult world.
SCHOOL DISTRICT FUNDS – It is not necessary to take the state’s curriculum and/or money. One thing we quickly learned in our experience was that government money has government strings – it has to. But, for most states, it is not a requirement to use anything the local school has for children. Again, a quick call to HSLDA will answer this question for you. Because California does not require state-mandated curriculum we were able to purchase our own. And we chose to use ones that did not conflict with our Biblical worldview. This is one of the biggest benefits in purchasing your own curriculum. For the most part, if you are using the state-mandated curriculum because you want the extra money offered to purchase piano/ballet/soccer/violin lessons, then you will be required to teach subjects from a non-Biblical world view. This is a personal decision but one that needs to be taken before the LORD and made carefully. As a side note – in our tenure of schooling, those that chose to compromise in this very area, ended up with disastrous results. Wayward children, broken families and more. Because when we as adults compromise and not hold to a Biblical standard, our children are quick to see the inconsistencies. A simple test – are you using Biblical world view curriculum and also using state curriculum so you can receive monies for the extras? Have you been told to “just not turn in the pages with Bible verses on them?” This is a compromise and one that our children spot and are left confused. What we do in moderation, our children do in excess.
Yes, there are myths about homeschooling. These are just a few. My adult children are well-rounded, God fearing and normal. And their homeschooling peers are the same. Homeschooling can be done successfully without compromising our children’s childhood, their integrity nor ours. The children that were within our homeschool circle are: seminary trained, police officers, musicians, chaplains, scientists, artists, college grads, military officers, leaders in their church and communities, biologists, film makers and more. They are motivated, love the LORD, and serve Him. Because emphasis was placed on engaging in conversations, these adult children have well balanced friendships with all ages. And, honestly, they are a delight to be around.
