Free From – Chapter 23 – July 23rd

July 23, 2021 Michelle Gott

I hope you will join me this month as we JOURNEY each day through our short story. It is about finding FREEDOM in the midst of all the captivating pieces in life that steal our peace which we need FREE FROM!

FREE FROM
July 23, 2021
Colossians 3:3-4, ‘Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.’ (MSG)

Chapter 23

Annie followed him out into hot sunshine onto sidewalks where heat rose in invisible waves. He was blinded by the brilliance of the sun and deafened by the pulsing of his heartbeat in his chest. He could smell every pore of Annie, and for the first time in decades, he allowed himself to remember what it felt like with her snuggled close in his arms.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded, not altogether friendly, his mind a tangle of emotion and fatigue and remembrances. He might be coming undone, unraveling at edges he forever promised would be sewn shut. No one would ever come close enough to even be let inside. Legend was taut with a sundry of feelings. It was like arriving at a buffet after fasting for twenty-one days. Every bit looked good with nowhere to put it. The smorgasbord of emotion overwhelmed his senses, suddenly a daughter, a wife, perhaps even a grandson. Not to mention, his son.
“Hey, I better go get my instructions. Somebody bailed me out; I don’t know who, but I don’t like owing anyone. I may even have a court date,” he muttered more to himself than Annie.
“It’s all right here,” she handed him a packet of papers. You’re good to go.” she shrugged, the familiarity of her shrug was like that favorite pair of sneakers or the threadbare jeans, the ones with the hole in the butt. Tears smarted, burning their way to the surface.
“I need to see if they’ll tell me who posted my bail. Be right back.’ He didn’t want Annie to see him cry.
Almost silently, she whispered, “I did.” He had to strain to hear her.
“Huh?” This all was too much for him.
She shrugged and hid her face. “I did,” she whispered again.
“Why?” There wasn’t one millimeter of understanding he could grasp. “How?” He had so many questions. A couple dozen years flooded his vision. It was like watching a slideshow, like thumbing through an archive of newspaper headlines. For years, all he wanted was someone to claim him. No, for Annie to claim him. To free him from the torment of his choices. To bring him home like a lost puppy and give him a place to belong. He no longer felt that way, no longer needed a place to be. He was good now. He had learned to let go. “What about Breize?” Suddenly, he had so much he wanted to say, so much he needed to know.
Annie shrugged again, signifying the heavy load she carried. “Let’s go someplace where we can talk.”
A half hour later, Legend felt like a thousand-dollar bill. He was tucked in a booth across from the only woman he had ever loved with his hands wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee. A gigantic chocolate chip cookie rested on a napkin. The aroma teased him, waking up senses he buried in a prison cell. Annie had been surprised he ordered coffee on such a hot day but she didn’t understand that what convenience stores and prison departments called coffee was far from it. This was a real cup o’joe, the real deal. He pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
While they waited to order, he had mentioned Breize again. The sadness in Annie’s eyes spoke volumes. “She’s got issues, Leg, more than Cosmopolitan or Newsweek seriously. She needs to sleep this one off and not be rescued. Trust me.” Annie was certain, and Legend wondered for the gazillionth time what life had been like in his absence.
“Does she have a little boy? I mean, are we grandparents, Annie?” An image of Trace pierced his heart and the memory of his agonizing cries wrecked him still.
That’s what really got her, the mention of the little boy. She cried openly for a minute, too upset to continue. Finally, “That’s why I’m here,” Annie shrugged, a sad smile filled in the gaps. “Human services called. I am his emergency contact,” she explained, then added with a sigh, “This hasn’t been the first time it’s happened.”
“O, my goodness,” Legend mumbled, while dozens of images tumbled in his head as if tossed in a huge dryer at the local Laundro-Mart. For a fleeting second Legend remembered the way Trace had almost climbed inside of him, rooting and grasping for safety and likely a place to belong. He must feel so lost and betrayed and hung out to dry. Legend spent his whole childhood feeling like that.
“Yeah,” Annie sighed again, as if trying to expel exhaust from inside, like an exhaust fan. “I am headed to go pick him up. I was wondering if you’d like to go with me?”
Legend wasn’t sure he’d heard right. Like, me? Go? With you? His brain reacted slowly, maybe Annie spoke a foreign language suddenly he didn’t comprehend. Aloud, “Like, you want me to go with you?” Incredulous, the hope and hurt, fear and yearning at once had all been dumped in a cauldron of stirring emotions.
“Well, yes, I thought it would be a good idea. The officers told our case worker how attached to you Trace was when they arrived on the scene. They had a chance to read the report from earlier in the day, and I knew immediately why he felt safe. Did you know who he was when you rescued him, Legend? Trace hasn’t had too many men stand up for him, just saying.” Annie’s hands were splayed in front of her, laying open on the table. Legend realized what an act of humility opening your hands to someone else was. He could not comprehend this turn of events no matter hard he tried.
“Uh, no. And, Annie, I really had no idea ‘til Breize fell out of that club on her face, when Trace swarmed her. He kept crying, ‘Mommy! Mommy!’ His screams were as if he were being tortured. I’ve never heard anything like that. Yeah, I’ll go too, if you’ll let me?” Legend hated to hope. It seemed like a dream, an interlude in a long drama. The past crashed like a wave hitting a shoreline of jagged rocks, the spray and its fallout receding, eaten by what lay ahead.
“Let’s go then. We can talk on the way. There’s so much you need to know.” A hundred excuses flooded Legend’s mind, and for every one, he deflected. Free. Free at last. His entire life, he had been running. He stopped long enough to believe he had been given a gift, but then realized he truly had never received it. Never felt he was good enough, capable enough. He’d played house, waiting for the real parents to come home, dodged every bit of responsibility requiring a grown-up, probably because he didn’t feel worthy. Eventually, Annie gave up while he was too busy having another drink to shadow the lack of ability he felt.
One thing for sure, if he got another chance, he wouldn’t screw this one up. Nu-huh, he wasn’t sleeping through another green light ever again.