Fridge Blindness
The Lord opens the eyes of the blind. – Psalm 146:8
“Where?!”
“Top shelf, behind the pickles, like I told you already.”
“I’ve already looked there twice! I swear the ketchup isn’t here!”
At this point my wife walks up and magically makes that elusive red bottle appear from behind the pickles. She shoves it into my arms and walks off shaking her head.
“See, right where I said it was.”
How did I not see that?! I swear it wasn’t there a moment ago!
Turns out, I’ve been suffering virtually my whole life with a condition that prevents me from seeing things that are right in front of my face. My friend, an optometrist, diagnosed me when I explained my symptoms.
“It’s called Fridge Blindness, my friend,” he said in his Spanish accent. “I’ve got it too. I look all through the fridge for the leftover empanadas and Theresa comes along and finds them in half a second.”
So it’s not just me! This debilitating condition – yes, it’s a really medical condition – affects people worldwide, but especially men. It must be attached to the Y chromosome or something. It has been causing grief in marriages since the dawn of time. But, although knowing the diagnosis is reassuring, Fridge Blindness is sadly untreatable. In fact, it soon progresses beyond the confines of the kitchen.
“Honey, have you seen my wallet?”
[Audible sigh and eye-roll from the next room]
“Your left coat pocket.”
“Ah, right you are. Okay, see you soon.”
There are even biblical references to this sort of thing. Jesus even spoke about this: when I try to help my son find something in the fridge or closet or pantry, it’s a perfect example of “the blind leading the blind” (Luke 6:39). Woe to us! I rely on my wife to see things I cannot. Such things are not always in the fridge. She has gently helped me see many of the ways I fail or offend others, or when I let fear or anger guide my decisions rather than love. It doesn’t always feel good, but as the Bible says, “wounds from a friend can be trusted” (Pr 27:6). Those who are closest to us are able to see our sin the clearest.
There are many examples of blindness in the Bible, but the greatest disability tends to come from spiritual blindness rather than physical. Jesus talked about the hypocrisy of nit-picking another’s small faults while being oblivious to the major faults in ourselves.
Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but do not notice the plank that is in your own eye? (Matt 7:3)
Such arrogance is like a cancer growing on our face that others can see clearly but we are oblivious to. In fact, the worst thing we can do is claim we can see just fine!
If you were blind, you would have no sin. But since you say, “We see,” your sin remains. (John 9:41)
Such is the value of a good friend. The accountability they provide is not always pleasant, but it’s priceless. I’ll never forget when a close friend called me out on drinking more than I should have during a poker game, which likely had negative implications on another’s fledgling faith. It was a lesson only learned because someone loved me enough to gently rebuke me.
On the flip side, sometimes we need our friends to show us the good parts of ourselves that we don’t always see. Elisha’s servant was only able to see the enemy surrounding the city of Dothan (2 Kings 6:15). It wasn’t until Elisha prayed for his eyes to be opened that he saw what really surrounded them – “the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire” (v. 17). Sometimes I leave a conversation with a friend and realize that I am actually capable of doing far greater things than I give myself credit for. There’s no way I would have been able to lead a worship team on a Sunday morning without my band-mates and pastors nurturing the potential they saw in me that I was completely blind to.
The Bible emphasizes “it’s not good for man to be alone” (Gen 2:18); indeed, it’s not good for anyone to be alone.
Two are better than one… If one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three is not quickly torn. (Ecc 4:9,12)
Nobody can see everything, so we rely on others to see things we’re blind to. This is one of the many reasons we should “not neglect our own assembling together” (Heb 10:25). As “iron sharpens iron” (Pr 27:17), my closest friends have helped me be the kind of man I want to be, far beyond what I could do by myself. We do this often with our children – their young minds simply lack the maturity and perspective to see the good (or harm) in some of their behaviors. Only after repeated guidance do they finally learn the reasons behind their parents’ instruction. Doesn’t God treat us the same way?
We’re all blind to something, whether in the fridge, in ourselves, or in the world around us. There’s no shame in needing help to open our eyes, that is, unless your wife has to get up from the couch to find it for you.
DB Ryen is a medical doctor and writer. Download his books for free at www.dbryen.com
© D. B. Ryen Incorporated, 2021
