Leading with Love

Since God chose you to be holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

Empathy. Sympathy. Compassion. Love. Mercy.

Are they the same?

Lately God has been showing me how much I don’t lead with love – I am rather quick to judge, offer advice, disengage. Ouch.

It’s been humbling, to say the least. How did I get this far? How did my eyes focus so much on self and not on others? Well. I could point to the feet, but that would be an excuse. And God is not worthy of my excuses. He is worthy of my obedience, worship…love.

So, I’ve been praying, pondering and looking up Scripture to find the answer. Is empathy what I am lacking? Actually, no. Nor sympathy. Why? Because God is calling us deeper than these. Empathy is actually a newer word. And the word is not in the Bible – facts I was surprised to find. What is God calling us to?

Paul writes in Colossians 3:12 that since we are chosen, we must clothe ourselves in mercy. Mercy, in laymen’s terms is to give unmerited favor – to give tenderness when the other does not deserve it.

Sounds an awful lot like God’s forgiveness and grace to us, sinners.

I am to have the same attitude as Christ (Philippians 2:5), so therefore I am to put on tenderhearted mercy. Not empathy nor sympathy. These are words conveying pity. God is calling us to action. Yes, compassion means to be moved to action when failure happens, a bad decision is made, or something that I don’t approve of. Rather than the pat answer, “I’ll pray for you” (in your mess, and glad it’s not mine; we think), God is calling us to act. To come along side. To saddle up to our people and love.

Be the listening ear. The soft shoulder. The tissue holder. Instead of dishing up entrée after entrée of platitudes, offer kindness, compassion, tenderness. Love. And mean it.

Have you ever had someone blast you? In front of others? Leading with love would respond in graciousness, keeping the mouth shut and looking inside and to Jesus to see what is doing on in the heart. Usually I am not leading with mercy, grace or love, so the comments made were merited. Maybe not the delivery nor the sauce it’s covered in, but there could be a speck of truth – or even all of it. Hurting people hurt others, as the saying goes.

Embracing a friend who is hurting so needed these days. Our world screams perfection, keep up, pain, fear and anxiety. I definitely do not need to add to the mix. Instead, I can add the sprinkles. I can be the cherry on top. The tang of love rather than the bitter pith. The girlfriend digging deep into the pocket of compassion and tenderness.

I’m not saying become a doormat nor to take abuse – rather, when those stinging words come (and they will), check my heart before the Lord. Or when I see a sister in need of comfort – even if the decision she made was a bad one with the now-subsequent bad results, I can offer the hug. I can pray and give of myself. I can look to Jesus to see how He would respond and give. I can be that example of grace.

Lord, as we come to You, Love, my heart is humbled because I recognize how often I fall short. Thank You for giving us love, being love, being compassion. And displaying how we can walk this out to a hurting world. I cannot do this alone. I need You. I need You to daily demonstrate how You want me to love. In Your precious Name. AMEN