Here I Am Again

If you are like me, you have a heart’s desire to serve God. You want to be faithful in your prayers, faithful in reading his word, and faithful in serving him. You want to be an excellent wife and mother, along with being a good sister, friend, aunt, and daughter. These are the things I desire to be, and the things that I consider important in shining for God.

Also, if you are like me, you find yourself coming to God in the middle of a sleepless night, saying, “Here I am again.” Here I am again, God, asking you to forgive me for my impatience. Here I am again, sorry that I didn’t treat my husband as lovingly as I could today. Here I am again, remorseful that I didn’t spend enough time with my kids today, that I didn’t give them enough hugs, that I didn’t have time for that board game. Here I am again, not taking the time to call a friend in need or saying I would pray for something specific yet didn’t make the time. Here I am again, with a house that is still as unorganized as it was yesterday, and the laundry still isn’t done, and I am out of energy and just can’t do it today.

Here I am again, perhaps not noticing someone who needs prayer or a little of my time. You put those divine appointments right in front of me, giving me the chance to share the gospel and bring hope and encouragement, but I missed the blessing. Here I am again, Lord, not doing all I know that You would have me to do, not living up to the calling you have placed on my life. Even more importantly, here I am again, putting off my bible study because I am busy. “Tomorrow” is becoming my most-used word as I lack the fortitude and time management to get my time with you in the level of priority it needs to be in.

Here I am again, Lord, unable to sleep because you are trying to get my attention. I didn’t take the time I should have today to come to you in prayer. Here I am again, wanting nothing more than to serve you, and getting overwhelmed in the process. For those like me, who can relate to this, I offer you this hope: Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

REST. That word sometimes seems foreign, but I know that it is possible to find rest. I know that God calls me to that rest, especially in my times of overwhelm and discouragement.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46.10. I can do that. I want to do that. We all want to do that. Each of us who are living this life intent on serving you, even on the days we fall short, need the stillness and the simplicity that comes from just being with God. We need to remember that “waiting time” is not “wasting time.”

Friends, will you join me in making every effort to be still and find rest in our Savior? Can we walk alongside each other and encourage one another to be all that God calls us to be? Can we help each other to not get overwhelmed by all that life throws at us, and can we offer each other strength and compassion for those times we feel we are failing?

Let us walk together so that we can say together, “Here I am again God, ready to do your will. Use me in the ways you have planned and help me to be the best child of God I can be.”