Hope for the Hurting with Dr. Mel

Families, Holidays and the Pandemic

As the pandemic continues to spike and recede, planning travel for upcoming holidays is difficult. Restrictions increase and then decrease, according to local, national, and global reports. If you are one of the millions facing the potential of another year spent away from family, I would like to encourage you. 

First, let me say that my heart is hurting in this area of life, too. Our children and grandchildren are now living in five different states. Not only am I separated from them, but they are all separated from each other, as well. Last year was a bit of a novelty, or so we thought. “It’s just one year,” we spoke repeatedly to each other. That was then. Here we are a year later, and the concept of more holidays celebrated in isolation is a bit tougher for us to handle emotionally. Can you relate to these thoughts?

For some, the separation is because loved ones are in care facilities that continue restricting visits between family members out of an abundance of caution. Some nursing homes and assisted living facilities have allowed outdoor distanced visits during the warm months, but are not possible during colder months for obvious reasons. Other facilities were allowing one family member a day if vaccinated. As of this writing, visitation policies are in flux again due to the extremely high percentage of ‘break-though cases amongst the vaccinated. The newest procedures will require visitors to show proof of a negative test regardless of vaccination status. All of this is causing ongoing grief for loved ones in facilities, as well as family members on the outside looking through windows that don’t allow for the human touch of a hug. 

Overseas deployments and jobs are making it difficult for people to travel home to families as each country sets its standards of protocol each week, according to pandemic impacts in their geographic region and surrounding countries. I have one friend who just traveled back to the states from halfway around the world. The trip required travel through airports in four different countries, with each airport requiring incoming passengers and outgoing passengers to be tested at the airport. You read it correctly-two tests per airport, once de-boarding and once before boarding the next plane! One airport required a 24-hour layover while test results were being processed. Many people simply cannot or will not expend the necessary time and energy to return home. This leaves both them and their families grieving the loss of another season of holidays separated from one another.

It is safe to say that the majority of families will be impacted again this year in one way or another. Even for those families living near one another, there are ongoing concerns about how and when to gather safely between households for celebrations. Isn’t it good to know that God is still in control in the midst of all of our pain over the separation? This pandemic has not taken Him by surprise. His grace is sufficient for us in the midst of these circumstances (2 Corinthians 12:9). How then shall we handle this season?

Last year, families used video chatting for the first time to celebrate ‘together.’ It was a new experience for many and joy-filled living rooms across the globe, so much so that Zoom bogged down. Others used FaceTime to connect with loved ones. Still, others hopped onto WhatsApp. Some held Facebook live sessions. 

I don’t know about you, but now close to two years into this pandemic, I’m tired of Zoom and FaceTiming. Meaning it’s lost the ‘newness’ appeal for me. In the beginning, I was so happy to actually see another human face, especially family members. The newness has worn off, and I am left wondering how to ramp up the distanced holiday experience this year. I will share a few ideas I have seen on Pinterest and other platforms. Maybe one will work for you. 

Dr. Mel’s Top 10 Ideas for Distanced Holiday Celebrations
(in no particular order)

1. We could cook the same menu and eat it ‘together’ at individual homes. We would feel connected. If you don’t cook, perhaps you could all order the same type of take-out, such as pizza, Chinese, or wings. 
2. We could all watch a movie together. Zoom allows for screen sharing, so everyone can log on and watch the movie together. TogetherTube is another excellent platform that will enable people to watch together. BYOP (popcorn) 
3. We could have a cookie decorating night. Each household can pre-bake their cookies and gather supplies and then log into Zoom for an hour of decorating together. 
4. We could draw names out of a hat then mail a gift to the person. Gifts would not be opened until the Zoom gathering.
5. We could Zoom on Christmas morning to open gifts together. 
6. We could gather on Zoom, and I (Grandma) could read Christmas stories to the kids. 
7. We could host a story-telling night on Zoom, taking turns sharing stories of holidays past. 
8. We could have a virtual tree decorating party. Each supplies their eggnog. 
9. We could host a Christmas Carol sing-a-long via Zoom. Even better if there is a pianist or guitarist in the family. 
10.       We could host a gingerbread house-building event. Each family would be responsible for gathering supplies and then open up a Saturday afternoon building room on Zoom. 

Whatever you decide to do with your family over the holidays, I pray it will be filled with joy and laughter and connectedness, no matter the distance between.