How do I Nourish my Family Relationship
God places much value on family relationships. The relationship between God the Father
and Jesus the Son is clearly a family relationship. Jesus was born in a family setting; He did
not just emerge on earth. During His ministry on earth, Jesus also regarded families as
valuable. He often used the concept of family in metaphors and parables. When He healed
or delivered people, or woke them up from death, He explicitly restored them to their
families. He either gave them back or told them to go back to their families.
God created us in His image. He values family, and so can we. God didn’t create man to be
alone. He created a man and a woman, so that the man wouldn’t be alone. Straight from the
creation of the world, God made provision for family.
“So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male
and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 (NLT)
God gives us the strength, through His Holy Spirit to be like Him while we are here on earth.
This means we can love and nurture family relationships as He does. If we need a mirror to
grasp how to deal with our family relationships, Jesus is the perfect and clear mirror to look
at.
“Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of
judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.” I John 4:17 (NKJV)
How did Jesus nourish His relationship with His Father?
During His ministry years, Jesus was often surrounded by crowds. He would serve them, and
He also made sure He spent time with His Father. No matter how busy Jesus was, He
ensured He would have spare time just for Him and His Father.
Jesus would separate Himself from the crowds, and even from His disciples, to be with His
Father in prayer. In prayer (=talking with His Dad) He would ask and receive guidance and
receive strength. Jesus’ prayers were mutual conversations with God. During those Father-
Son-times, Jesus kept an attitude of obedience and respect. Whatever His Father wanted, he
would do.
“Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I
want your will to be done, not mine.” (Luke 22:42; NLT).
Jesus often chose desolate places to be with His Father. In a desolate place, there wouldn’t
be any distractions and other people to interfere with the family relationship. This ensured
He would focus on God, His father.
“But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.” Luke 5:16 (NLT)
Jesus understood the importance of quality time. He had only three years to complete His
ministry on earth. During those few years, He had to train His disciples and nourish His
relationship with them. Still, He put time aside each day to be with His Father. In the same
vein, we can focus on spending quality time with our families.
Looking at our relationships, what would Jesus do?
In trying to figure out what to do in our own family relationships, we should look at Jesus
and His relationship with His Father in Heaven and with His family here on earth. There is
this famous saying, “what would Jesus do?” (WWJD), which we can apply each time we need
to decide related to our families. It means taking a pause, reflecting, and then acting in line
with what Jesus would have done.
This seemingly simple question (WWJD) has a massive impact on our personal lives and our
relationships with others if we sincerely ask ourselves what Jesus would have done and then
do the same thing. Knowing is one thing, doing is often another thing.
Having a look at our various family relationships, how would Jesus act if He was in our place?
Would Jesus love our challenging parents (-in-law)? Would He be kind to a grumpy spouse?
Would He take the first step to resolve a family conflict? Would He say sorry even if He did
nothing wrong? Would He put off pride and forgive a family member that made fun of Him?
Would He call a wayward child? Would He be the peacemaker among fighting siblings?
This list of questions can be endless because choices confront us each moment of the day.
Those are the moments we need to choose what to do and then act based on the decision
made.
How do we know what Jesus would have done?
To know what Jesus would have done if He faced our situations means we should first know
what Jesus did when He lived on earth. To be like Him, we should first understand His
character, His dealings with other people, and the motivation of His heart. If we don’t (truly)
know someone, we cannot be like that person. When we hear stories about someone, that
doesn’t mean we know the person. It takes more than that.
So, how do we get to know Jesus personally? We do that by spending time with Him, quality
time. For example, in prayer, by worshiping Him, through Bible reading, by meditating, or by
listening to sermons. When we do this-not just once but as a habit-we will reflect His
behavior in the way we deal with our families. We would be:
Loving
Caring
Forgiving
Merciful
Patient
Understanding
Non-judgmental
Helpful
Going the extra mile
Is knowing what Jesus would do enough?
Jesus thought so much about how to relate to others. However, knowing Jesus’ actions with
our intellect is not sufficient. We should be like Him in our everything. Jesus did not merely
teach. He also showed it in His character, being, and His dealing with others. He did what He
taught others. And exactly that is what God wants us to do. He wants us to be doers and
apply what we learn.
“For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural
face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of
man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a
forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.” James
1:23-25 (NKJV)
The good news is that we don’t have to do this all by ourselves. We have a helper. Jesus sent
the Holy Spirit when He left earth. The Holy Spirit will help us be like Jesus when we allow
Him.
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians 5: 22-23 (NLT)
Take-away
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are
ingredients for flourishing family relationships. Applying them in our lives will automatically
nourish our family relationships. We would be like Jesus.
Interestingly, the more time we spend with Jesus, the more we will become like Him, and
the easier it will become to treat our families the way Jesus would have done. When we
allow the Holy Spirit to manifest His fruits in us, our family relationships will flourish.
Being like Jesus means being with Him continually, each second of our lives. We need Him
like we need air to breathe. The moment we would move away from Him or think we can do
things by ourselves; we would go amiss and may deprive our relationships instead of
nourishing them.
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will
produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (NLT)
*****************
Blog post: https://www.christelowoo.com/
Social media:
Facebook Profile: @christel. owoo
Facebook Page: @AuthorChristelOwoo
Twitter: @christelowoo
Instagram: @christel_owoo
