How to Raise a Well-Rounded Child

HOW TO RAISE A WELL-ROUNDED CHILD

The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Parenting is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, jobs a person will ever have. It is all fun and games in the beginning when we are in control of everything. Our most difficult task in those early years is getting the sleep we so need to function. As time goes on, we realize parenting involves the skill of making split-second decisions. Our decisions may benefit the child but may not always be popular with them. But we do it anyway!

As a former teacher who spent many years in the field of education with students of all ages, I have been able to witness first-hand the results, both victories and failures, of parenting styles. And trust me, I have had some failures of my own. The minute you start thinking you are the perfect parent, your children are there to prove you wrong. Even the Bible admonishes us to discipline our children, meaning they will need it, so they will bring us peace of mind. As the new school year begins, I encourage parents to get started on the right foot. In the following paragraphs, I have listed a few very important things to be aware of when parenting.

First, just because your child wants something because everyone else has it, doesn’t mean you have to give it to them. Yes, giving good gifts to your children is not always a bad thing. But, giving them everything they want can teach them the world owes them something. Better to use restraint.

Second, don’t take responsibility away from your child by doing everything for them. Instead, help them develop proper systems and processes for doing things for themselves. Then you will have taught them to take responsibility for themselves and not expect it from others.

Third, when there is an issue with a teacher, the school, someone in your community or whatever, don’t automatically assume your child is in the right. First, get the whole story. Your child’s perception of events might be skewed. Or worse, they could be trying to save their own skin. Children are known to do this. If you always take your child’s side, they will grow up believing they can get away with anything or that people are prejudiced against them.

Fourth, set up ways your child can earn their own money rather than you giving them money whenever they want. This teaches them about managing their own money and gives them a sense of accomplishment. This also goes along with buying them anything they want. If they want that expensive pair of tennis shoes, you come up with a reasonable amount you will pay. They can use their own money to make up the difference if it is that important to them. Teaching them early skills of financial management is invaluable to them.

Fifth, allow your child to experience some failures. We grow through those experiences. If there is a project they are to do, or homework, it is okay to guide them along their way. It is never okay to do the job for them. They will never learn and grow if the parent does the job for them. What they will learn is that the parent can do it but they cannot. Encourage, motivate, and teach them they can do it if they don’t give up.

And sixth, and most importantly, do not neglect spiritual training. It is not up to anyone else. And it is never a good idea to wait until they are older to decide for themselves. It rarely happens. Pray over your children each morning. Let them hear your prayers. Pray specifically so they can see God’s hand move in specific situations. They will learn from an early age there is a God who loves and cares for them. They are God’s treasure.

Nelson Mandela once said that every encounter with a child is a divine opportunity. God has entrusted parents to teach their children at every opportunity how to be well-rounded citizens. But know that children will fail from time to time. It is a part of growing. God was the perfect parent and did everything right. Yet, his first two children messed up. You teach them, model it to them, and beyond that, pray that God makes up the difference where you lack. You and God together can do this!

Proverbs 22:6 – Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (NIV)