I DO! – Unfaithful – June 2nd

I DO
June 2, 2021

Unfaithful

Malachi 2:16, ‘”The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.’ (NIV)

I remember my ‘I Do’. I’ve had several. The first time I was very young. I was filled with rebellion and adventure and I thought I knew what love was. That was over 35 years ago. Spoiler alert: I am still learning.

My ‘I Do’ ended up in a painful disaster four children later. I was unfaithful in my vows. He was abusive in his actions. He cut me down to a diminished size and someone else built me up. I excised the good in him; he beat me down to where no one was left inside. We might have killed each other; in some ways we did.

And who paid the price? Four innocent children who never asked for such an existence. They are the most amazing creatures I have ever known, and even though we all have been through so much and hurt each other greatly, I would do it ALL over again to have them, to know them, and now, the gift of their children, in my world. (Even just the thought of these grambabies is finer than the most magnificent day, the greatest treasure, more valuable than any possession or financial gain.) It cost everything to gain everything.

My children went through so much for my freedom and I certainly was not honorable. My ‘I Do’ was a pitiful excuse for a promise. I recall being so worried about God’s inability to accept a divorced daughter. I had a wonderful Christian counselor who assured me frequently that while God hates divorce, hurts dreadfully over divorce, He also hates and hurts over a broken marriage. And we were broken, way broken. We broke each other and we broke our children and family members and friends. No matter what, sides are drawn, and the truth never really comes forward when asked. Truth in a divorce situation always hides its head, buries its heart. Wounds are deep and raw and they bleed for years. The scars are visible on the surface forever. Divorce lasts for a lifetime.

But I want you to know that in my unfaithfulness, He, God, is still faithful. I messed up massively. I could point fingers at my ex—by the way, isn’t ‘ex’ quite a label? Like we ex them out, right? when it fails. Excise, excuse, existent, exit—but I’d have to cop to the many fingers pointing back at me also. His treatment of me didn’t give me the right to try someone else on to see how that felt, fit. Perhaps it granted me the need to give up but I could have done so differently, less antagonistically, a clean break, if there is such a thing. I learned though that what Satan meant for my harm and our family’s demise, God is able to use for good. It has taken years to see the good that He can bring, but I promise, if your ‘I Do’ like my ‘I Do’ is broken or is breaking, trust that your Father can right the many wrongs. He offers acceptance and promises a new beginning in the midst of what has died and is decomposing. Beyond everything, He loves you through it all. He hurts for you and for what has shattered around you, but there is no thing that will cause Him to turn His back on you or your family. Trust me, if I can know His grace and forgiveness after what we have been through, you can as well.

What a promise ‘I Do’ is! Whether we are committing to a person
or simply being intentional in life, our word should be a cherished commodity.
This month, journey with me in ‘I Do’ moments which are an oath, a vow, a pact,
a pledge, an honorarium.