If You Must Borrow, Borrow From Yourself

Lisa was stumped. Six months ago she left a corporate job to become a stay-at-home mom who home-schooled her four children. She opted for an eclectic curriculum, but their home-schooling life felt chaotic. On her own, Lisa couldn’t see a way to make her four kids learn effectively.
The irony was that in her corporate job Lisa was usually called in to get systems in place in areas where there was chaos. It just never occurred to her to borrow those same skill sets and apply them at home.

Women often complain that men like to compartmentalize their lives. But as a life coach of Christian women, I often see that women forget about their successes and skills in one area and don’t think to transfer them to their home or personal lives. The best person you can borrow from is you. You can borrow skills and experience from yourself, but you can also borrow attitudes and feelings that serve you well.

If you are struggling with something in your life, do this.

Try to figure out what you need to think and feel to succeed in this challenging area. Usually feelings like confidence, competence or calmness are good ones to lean into. Now think back of three times in your life when you felt confident or competent or calm. What were you thinking then that made you feel like that?

For instance, for Lisa in her previous job it was this thought: “I’m very good at creating systems to conquer chaos.” As her coach I made her go a step further and asked her to come up with evidence that what she was thinking was true. I had her make a list of a few times she did indeed create good systems in her job.

The next step was to let her see she can use that same thought, which created the feeling of confidence in her, to figure out how to teach her kids best.
It was such a joy to see her face lit up when the thinking wheels started spinning in her head. She was then able to produce idea after idea to deal better with her homeschooling situation.

My favorite verse in the Bible that relates to life coaching is this one from 2 Corinthians 10:5: “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
We are self-aware beings created in God’s image. We can use this precious ability to improve our lives and the lives of our loved ones, for the ultimate glory of our Lord. One of the best ways to do this is to be very intentional about what we’re thinking.

So, start borrowing from yourself.

Risa is currently running a 30-day challenge on Instagram teaching Christian women how to become their own best friend. Visit her Instagram account if you want to join in: https://www.instagram.com/risa4coaching/