Is the Meaning of Love Greek to You?

December 22, 2021 Cyndi

Part 3 – The Many Faces of “Phil”

Greetings! If you’re just joining us, we’re diving into four (of the many known) types of Greek love: storge (duty love), eros (sensual love), phileo (friendship love), and agape (sacrificial love).

Why learn about something so common and general, you ask? The reason is: love isn’t a general word to be used commonly! Redundant, right? Let me explain. As we mentioned in a previous article, the exact word, “love,” is used in the Bible exponentially more as newer versions are produced and made available. It’s a word that tends to be thrown around, even in daily conversation, and we, as Christ-followers, need to be sensitive to how it’s used and understand the context in God’s Word.

Restated, we need to be careful in using a blanket English word for expressions that have such rich meaning in the original language, sisters. That’s why I’m so glad you’re here studying the importance of love’s distinction in the Greek.

So, without further ado, let’s talk about phil. Nope, it’s not your neighbor Phil down the street – phil is a Greek root word meaning “to love/be affectionate towards,” and it has many faces. When looking at a Greek linear, the versions of this root word seem endless – and it can be found at the beginning or end of a word, as well. Being one of the most versatilely used versions of love, it’s all the more important to understand it.

Much like the drama/comedy mask we associate theater with, phil can be negative and it can be positive – good and bad – happy and sad. We can have a love of money (philagyria) or we can have a love for others in brotherly love (philadelphia).

One very distinct and important face of phil that should be discussed is the love of self. We can’t seem to escape the phrase “love yourself first and best,” and though I don’t doubt the positive intention of this, we need to be careful with this, ladies.

The Bible clearly states in 2 Timothy 3:1-7, “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves (philautos), lovers of money (philargyros), boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure (philedonos) rather than lovers of God (philotheos), having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

There is a warning for those who love themselves over God. You may be thinking, “well, there are places in the Bible where it tells a man to love his wife like he loves himself! Isn’t that self-love?” Not quite. The passage that you’re thinking of (Ephesians 5:28) paints love with a different root word from the one used in the 2 Timothy warning. The root for loving a spouse is agape!

Sacrificial love is pure, generous, beloved, and caring. Agape is not a love meant to be above God, but a love to mirror God’s love. When we start to love ourselves more than we love God, it becomes a serious problem. Unfortunately, it’s a trap that we can easily fall into. After all, the world screams for us to love ourselves, doesn’t it? It says, “go ahead – don’t worry about the effects on others or toward God. Give into yourself and your own happiness – it’s love!” Loving ourselves is sneakily advertised as being healthy, which is why it can be such a dangerous trap.

Don’t misunderstand me – I’m all for self-care. May it never be confused with self-love! Self-care is healthy and it allows us to recharge, making room for us to love God and others with a filled cup.

The world, however, would prefer for you to love yourself more than anyone else. The Bible tells us to do the opposite! We are to be a people of sacrifice. A people who love God and love others more than ourselves.

Counter-culture, isn’t it? Of course it is. James 4:4 says, “…Do you not know that friendship (philos) with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend (philos) of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

I couldn’t have said it any better, James. When we listen to the world’s whisperings of loving ourselves over everyone else and over God, we are at enmity with Him. At odds. Against Him. And for ourselves.

Philautos was never a command. This Greek word for self-love is also used for “selfishness.” We are all prone to selfishness, simply by being human. That’s why Paul warns us in Galatians 5:13, “For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh (carnality and self/passion-focused), but through love (agape) serve one another. (clarification added)”

The words of Jesus are even more convicting. Luke 9:23 says, “Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.’”

“Denying” yourself doesn’t mean that you should demean yourself, put yourself down or neglect yourself – it simply means to clear the way and open your heart to think beyond yourself. Act beyond yourself. Love beyond yourself. It means to put others’ needs ahead of selfish desires (which we all fall prey to).

We’re commanded by God to love others in a way that isn’t self-seeking.

Do a heart check today: what kind of love are you displaying to others? To God? To yourself? Purpose to be loving toward another person today and not for praise or for yourself. Check your motives. Make sure that the good and wholesome face of phil is present in your life.

I leave you with this encouragement from Hebrews 13:1, “Let brotherly love (philadelphia) continue.” May you daily show others the kindness and grace that the Lord has blessed you with.

I’m excited for the last step in our journey of Greek love, which is agape. This single Greek word is so diversely rich in its meaning and I’m excited to unpack it with you!