Is your source of hope sustainable?

She looked at me and sighed, “When people see me dressed and wearing make-up, they think I have it all together.” She paused and I thought to myself is this not what we all wish? People would think we are super divas even though sometimes we are dying inside. She looked at me again and I could see the tears in her eyes that she was trying hard to hold back.

“Yesterday I woke up in the middle of the night, picked up my bottle of antidepressants, and went to my daughter’s room. Two weeks ago, I took 10 tablets. I had woken up and asked myself tough questions and like Solomon in the Bible told myself, “Vanity. All is vanity.” I thought I was not going to wake up the following morning, but I woke up feeling very sick.” There was dead silence then she continued, “When I looked at my daughter, I felt terrible, and I told myself that for the sake of my daughter I could not take my life.”

“Oh, I did not know you take antidepressants.” I said still wondering how I could be of help.” ‘Yes, I have a serious anxiety problem and sometimes I can not even sleep the whole night.” She answered. “What if your daughter who gives you hope for now will be your source of disappointment in the future? What will happen then?” I asked her. She looked down for a few minutes and said,” Oh I will never commit suicide, though I have tried and failed before.” I then thought to myself about how many times we have held on to hope that is not sustainable in the long run. If you are a Christian woman there is hope that is sustainable and that hope is hope in God.

In Judges 20: 20-36 the Israelites understood putting their hope in God despite the challenging circumstances. When they went out to battle against the Benjamites, Benjamin came out of Gibeah and cut down to the ground twenty-two thousand men of the Israelites. The men of Israel encouraged themselves and formed a battle line. The Israelites had hope after encouraging themselves, but they went and wept before the Lord asking counsel whether or not they should draw near the Benjamites.

When your hope is in God He will speak, and it takes obedience to follow His counsel, which sometimes is not what we expect in the natural. The Israelites were told to go up against them. When they went back, they were defeated but they did not lose heart. They went back to the house of God and wept and even fasted until evening and offered burnt offerings. Whenever they enquired, they were told to go back to fight and that the Benjamites would be delivered into their hands. The third time, the Bible says, “The Lord defeated the Benjaminites before Israel”.

If your hope is in God, He will fight the battle for you. No matter how overwhelming the situation is, committing suicide is not the solution. 2 Chronicles 20:15 says, “Thus says the Lord to you: Do not be afraid or dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but the Lord’s.” Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear today’s hardship.

No problem is permanent. Is your source of hope sustainable?