Keep On Trusting

by Valerie Ann V. Lazarte

I grew up in San Diego, California. I had a normal childhood and was diagnosed with asthma at the age of 9. At the age of 24, I noticed there was a lump at the base of my neck. I asked a close friend what it could be. We thought it was just a viral infection, but he suggested that I have it examined. Upon having it examined and tested, I was shocked to find out that further testing was needed to be done for possible cancer. At first, I didn’t want anyone to know, but eventually, I told my relatives and church family and they supported me and my husband the whole time. At first, I questioned God as to why this had happened and I was upset. As the tests and treatments began, more encouragement came through our church family and I began to just go with the flow, let go and let God.

I was eventually diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in 2006 and then had a recurrence in 2008.  I was treated with chemo and radiation and had a bone marrow transplant. Late in 2008, I had a left hip replacement due to damage from the steroids I was given at the time of chemo, and then a right hip replacement in 2009. My friends and church family would pray and visit me, especially right before the transplant surgery. I would always send prayer requests even if they didn’t live close by, and sure enough, they would come alongside me and my family to pray.

We waited for about a year to start a family and then found out that we couldn’t have children. Doctors said that sometimes having chemo may have this effect on the body. I was distraught, upset, and resented God for this. I fell into a slight depression. About six months later God drew me back and my husband and I decided to give our all to ministry with the church. Two years into serving, we found out we were pregnant and had to be careful considering what my body had already been through. The pregnancy was very healthy and successful and we were blessed with our first daughter, Charisma Rose. One year after she was born, we were pregnant again with our second daughter, Victoria Joy! 

Months later we became pregnant with our third daughter, Iliana Hope. There were some complications during my pregnancy that resulted in a placental abruption and she was born three months premature. We were so heartbroken when she ended up in the NICU for four days. We then learned her fate – that she had a brain bleed and wouldn’t survive. At first, we had peace, but the grief afterward was like no other. God provided an amazing support system through our church, and our family in another state was able to fly out for Iiana’s funeral. In 2016, shortly after her death, we moved to Sacramento on Navy orders.

One year down the road, we had another health concern come up. I found a little lump on my neck. Further testing was to be done but was put on hold as we battled with my dad being in the hospital. He had brain surgery to try to correct his Parkinson’s disease. Because he was not getting up and changing positions in bed, he developed a bed sore that eventually led to him having sepsis. We then learned his prognosis was not a happy one. He only had a few weeks to live. I was very fortunate to spend time with him for a week before he passed. 

I questioned God. How much more of this could I even take?! These last years were so devastating as it was. I learned that same year the lump on my neck was Thyroid Cancer. I trusted God with the trials that had come our way and knew in my heart He had a bigger and better plan in all of this. But how? It was not for me to understand, but for me to solely see His goodness and to trust that because I am a child of God, He was in control. I sought treatment with a thyroidectomy and radiation-active iodine and had to stay in the hospital away from my family due to radiation being active in my body. I recovered from thyroid cancer and then we moved to another duty station.  

During my battle with Lymphoma, my husband’s side of the family had been very supportive and allowed us to move in with them after a year of being diagnosed so that there was someone always there to keep an eye on me.  My side of the family was very supportive as well, and a few relatives would take me to my appointments. Unfortunately, my mom did not live close by but fully supported me through prayers. She was, however, able to stay with me years after when I had my thyroid removed and was a big help with the girls as I was recovering. 

Many other health issues arose. I was diagnosed with migraines, and vertigo, and had a scare thinking that the thyroid cancer had come back, but received a second opinion and was found to still be in remission. I had bleeding in my uterus for a few months until doctors diagnosed me with polyps and they were removed last year, in 2022.  I was scared to have it removed because my mom had passed away that same month due to pancreatic cancer.  I couldn’t help but think that I was next.  My brother, dad, third daughter, and mom had all passed away in different years, but all in the month of February. My faith was completely shaken.  My husband reminded me that God has a plan and my life would not be harmed and I shouldn’t worry.  This was just all a bigger plan that I could not picture. 

I have seen God’s hand move a lot throughout my life. Through the miracles he has blessed me with, a loving and supportive husband, three beautiful daughters, family, church, and friends.  There have been times when I have been upset and mad with Him.  It took a while for me to see that He knows best.  But what relationship doesn’t have its ups and downs, right? He has called me back to Texas for a reason, despite what has happened in the past.  Moving forward, I still need to build up my faith in Him and continue to trust in Him, because He loves me and those who are His children.

As of now, I’m still being monitored by doctors to make sure nothing else comes up with my health. It is important to have something to believe in, a supportive community, family, and friends to help.  Prayers and a relationship with Jesus and God are a plus and help in the process of going through difficult times and staying positive. In times that you can’t stay positive, have someone who is accountable to help you do so. God bless!