LoveReign
a Love Affair with a SoveReign God
February 1st, 2023
PAYDAY
I John 3:1-2, ‘Consider the kind of extravagant love the Father has lavished on us—He calls us children of God! It’s true; we are His beloved children. And in the same way the world didn’t recognize Him, the world does not recognize us either. My loved ones, we have been adopted into God’s family; and we are officially His children now. The full picture of our destiny is not yet clear, but we know this much: when Jesus appears, we will be like Him because we will see Him just as He is.’
He couldn’t believe it. Already, they were struggling. With one another; their marriage like Russian Roulette most days. To make ends meet. To stay afloat. A third baby on the way; they’d never planned for even the first one. The bills swollen and the income slouching. And he’d just lost his job. He couldn’t believe it!
This hadn’t been his end-all. He hadn’t wanted to be here forever, but he had been grateful when the opportunity had appeared out of nowhere. In the midst of the Pandemic, when so few other husbands and fathers were climbing in their vehicles early of a morning and coming home later at night, at least he had been. He had tried to prove himself, even though he was low man in the dogpile and he knew potentially the possibility of getting laid off. Still. He had tried. Tried to work hard, harder than the rest. Taking the ugly jobs. Going where he didn’t want to particularly go. Keeping the attitude. Passively smiling with his hand held high, knowing his wife would be aggressively unhappy he was volunteering to work yet another holiday. Double the money, honey, he’d whisper. Triple the trouble, she’d glare, her eyes making a loud statement. Now, this. Well, she’d have him home for this holiday. And all the rest, he grimaced. Unsure how they would juggle Christmas just around the corner. He hung his head, then dropped it into his hands, relieved his boss had closed the door quietly behind him as he’d exited the conference room. What now? How would he face her tonight? It would definitely be mighty frigid in their home—and not just because the heat would have to be kept to a minimum to afford the bill, he grimaced.
We have all been there. That surprise announcement, an unexpected phone call, the unsuspecting person, a startling revelation, a tragic accident, the unforeseen, that sudden dread in the pit of our stomach, those words we never wanted to hear, the unknowing and the unraveling. What happens with the disappointments in the hands of an all-knowing, sovereign God? What is on the other side of the tarnished coin?
Yes, it was chilly in the forecast of their future for quite some time to come. He recalls not knowing somedays if they would make it, or how. He thinks back now and recalls how she refused to talk to him for months. He bit his tongue when she complained he was always around now, in the way—didn’t he have something to do with himself?! He grinned prophetically to himself, and thought, ‘Darned if I do, darned if I don’t.’ Instead of retorting, he bent his head. He prayed harder, louder, longer. He believed.
Then the call came, eventually. He thought back on it now with nostalgia. He would have never considered this type of career for himself. In fact, it had been so long since he had dreamed, he nearly didn’t know how to. He almost turned the job offer down, but they were so desperate, he hadn’t a choice. Like a form of PTSD, voices had chided him inside his head. You’re not enough. You’ve never been enough. You’re not able to be enough. He wasn’t sure if he even had what it took anymore, was what his thoughts sneered at him.
Highly favored, is what he now spoke over himself. The hand of God had fed them daily; like manna from heaven, He had met every single one of their needs. For so long, there was just enough, but never too little. He recalled the way his boss had shaken his head and apologized as he laid him off, and the thud of his heart in his chest matching the thud of the closing door. He had felt so dejected and lost back then, ready to give up.
Now he could see all the ways God had blessed them, down to the tiniest of details. He would never have believed it if someone had laid it out before him, but looking back, he saw the ways God had been working all things out on their behalf; the sovereignty of God leaving him speechless yet again. This holiday not only was he not scheduled to work and able to celebrate with his family, but he would receive pay for the entire holiday weekend! Not only that! after they returned to the office, he’d be reporting to a new department that came with a promotion and raise!
“When we feel like we are not good enough to be loved by God, we should remember that God’s love is greater than our doubts. We must silence the sounds of condemnation so we can hear the voice of God’s loving assurance and remember that He has selected us to be part of His family.” (The Voice, Bible Gateway)
