LoveReign
a Love Affair with a SoveReign God
February 6th, 2023
Gut Instinct
I John 3:1-2, ‘Consider the kind of extravagant love the Father has lavished on us—He calls us children of God! It’s true; we are His beloved children. And in the same way the world didn’t recognize Him, the world does not recognize us either. My loved ones, we have been adopted into God’s family; and we are officially His children now. The full picture of our destiny is not yet clear, but we know this much: when Jesus appears, we will be like Him because we will see Him just as He is.’
She had wanted to be included so badly, but never once thought she would be. She spent night after lonely night, her eyes glued to a stupid TV show and her mind a million miles away, wrapped around all the fantasies her imagination fashioned where she was the center of attention, too many friends to count. In her dreamworld, she had so many invitations she couldn’t possibly attend all the events and parties. Her acquaintances were too numerous to recall all their names. Invisibly, she’d stand for long moments, gazing into her closet, brimming with every outfit imaginable, tags still clung to sleeves and hems and buttons. In fact, even cooler than that were all the girls who trailed after her, up her winding staircase into her gigantic bedroom where she outfit every one of them, and they oohed and ahhed over what a great friend she was to many. Her mom would greet them with a plate fresh baked cookies and hot cocoa, and they’d politely decline as they rushed out the door to the next invite. Her dad would shake his head and longingly remark how he wished they could all spend more time together. ‘Wait!’ he’d call after her and her friends. ‘Let me at least send you off with some spending money for your fun night ahead!’
All too soon, every evening, something would interrupt her pretense, and she’d come crashing down to earth again. Usually, it was the slamming of the door behind her mother as she let herself in from her night job or the sound of her father’s tired greeting She would shake her head, confused only momentarily, as she wavered between the reality outside her door and the hope she craved inside her heart. Too many nights she was lost between two worlds: the one she dreamt up and the one that really was. She knew her parents loved her and they were simply trying to make ends meet, but there had to be more to life than this. She felt left out and let down. She was tired of waiting, exhausted by listening to her mom pray for miracles to come that never did and following obediently in her dad’s footsteps that led faithfully to church, the one thing they did together as a family. More than anything, she wanted to be befriended; day after day it became evident, she never would be.
So, she was totally unprepared when the group of cool girls beckoned her to their lunchroom table. And even more unprepared when they invited her to the upcoming party over the weekend! Then came the greatest surprise: her parent’s vehement response, forbidding her to go. What did they care? she thought defiantly to herself. All they had time for was work, fighting and church. They’d never even know if she was gone; she was certain. It’d been years since either one had poked a weary head in her room to wish her a good night’s sleep.
~ We have all been there. That surprise announcement, an unexpected phone call, the unsuspecting person, a startling revelation, a tragic accident, the unforeseen, that sudden dread in the pit of our stomach, those words we never wanted to hear, the unknowing and the unraveling. What happens with the disappointments in the hands of an all-knowing, sovereign God? What is on the other side of the tarnished coin?
She tossed a wary glance over her shoulder as she rounded the corner of her house and crept into the shadows. She had been yearning for this night to arrive for what felt like a year! She waited for forever before sneaking further down the street, keeping to the edge of the darkness. Her eyes groped slowly in the inky blackness, but soon she was able to see like it was daylight. Right as she reached the end of her street and began to cross over into the parking lot where her new friends awaited her arrival, a spotlight suddenly lit up, blinding her eyes. ‘Young lady,’ she couldn’t believe her ears! ‘We knew it! We knew you would try to sneak out! I worried we couldn’t trust you! You’re grounded, young lady!’ She was mortified, and oh, so very angry. She would never speak to her parents again, she swore silently inside, as she turned and ran toward her house.
‘Go away!’ she screamed, her back to her door, curled in a tight ball, praying she would disappear. It had been a sleepless night; she was so angry she couldn’t turn off her thoughts. Now sunlight streamed in her window, a new day dawning. She counted silently under her breath, waiting for the sound of footsteps to lead away from her door. Instead, she heard the sound of her door opening, the telltale creak of a rusty hinge.
‘There’s something you need to know, sweetie.’ It was like a dream, the words floating in her room. The gall of her mother! Coming in here as if nothing had happened the night before. ‘Go away!’ she snarled. But her mom thrust a phone in her face, and at once the screen lit up to a grisly scene of a mangled car, pieces of it scattered like twisted metal and shards of glass littering the ground. The car was almost unrecognizable, but sadly a realization filled her head, and at once, a sick feeling rose out of her stomach and into her throat, making her words taste acidic. ‘What the…’ she whispered. ‘Honey, there were no survivors. I’m sorry.’ She felt her mother’s arms wrap around her and a sob absorbed the air; the tears on her face felt foreign. ‘I just had a horrible feeling last night, baby, and now I’m so very grateful we followed my instinct and came to find you. That would have been you! I know you are so mad at us, but had you gone with those girls, we would have lost you forever. Thank God, honey, you are safe and alive!’
Psalm 16:6a, ‘The boundary lines for me have fallen in pleasant places.’ (NIV)
“When we feel like we are not good enough to be loved by God, we should remember that God’s love is greater than our doubts. We must silence the sounds of condemnation so we can hear the voice of God’s loving assurance and remember that He has selected us to be part of His family”. (The Voice, Bible Gateway)
