ME-ssentials – Anxious – Day Sixteen
ESSENTIALS for Me NOT to Be: ANXIOUS
September 16th, 2021
What’s your ESSENTIAL?
Essential: absolutely necessary; indispensable; the essence of a thing; inherent and intrinsic, vital
Just as there are so many ESSENTIALS for me to be, there are just as many ESSENTIALS for me NOT to be. Let’s explore those the other half of this month!
Philippians 4:6-7, ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’ (NIV)
The day began much like the last one ended and so on. My heart seemed to live in my throat anymore; my stomach in my chest. My knees knocked and feet staggered clear up inside my gut; I felt the throb. Anxiety flows through my veins like my blood once did. The pa-rum-pa-rum-pum of my heart beating wildly like a drum in my ears and fingertips. I have forgotten how to swallow, and my breath is a staccato, small surges that make me light-headed. Panic is the material my walls are built of; it surrounds me on all sides and forms a roof over my head and a floor beneath my feet. I don’t have far to go at any moment before I run into it.
I read once of a fear that kept people locked inside their homes. It was a phobia of sorts and I thought how terribly sad for someone to have to live that way. I couldn’t fathom it actually. What would keep any person sutured to their room? Wouldn’t they be able to know that the freshness of rain as it cleanses the sky and the sun beating hard upon the ground, sending its warmth like shocks of heatwaves, could chase away any negative vibe anytime? How did staying locked inside of one’s own prison make anyone feel safe?
But I get it now. I get the expression of dread, the trepidation burning in my lungs. I recall with hysteria almost how frantic I felt when the whole world stopped and quarantined all of us behind our own walls. We even constructed more barricades to make ourselves feel safer and they closed in like trick walls in haunted houses. The isolation messed with our heads, or at least it did for me, but it wasn’t long before it became even more difficult to step outside into the light and fresh air.
So, on days when the vicious bite of panic and unease are so thick I can taste them, it is essential for me to be intentional and remember Who is in control. If I am and if the world is and if the enemy is not to be defeated, then my anxiety absolutely makes sense. But instead it is rumored Who holds all of it in His palm, Who knows all of our details without any surprise and Who remains victorious at the end of every day. With this hope, I can step outside into the light and allow it to chase the shadows away, let the flushing of fresh air drown the auspiciousness of apprehension aside. I know with certainty without the cushion of God’s presence, my peace is at risk, but He reminds me of His faithfulness in the midst of my anxiousness. I then can praise Him for opening my self-made doors and bringing me out of myself and into confidence in Him.
