Memories of Daddy Hurt So Good

My dad was a hardworking man who taught many lessons but did not express his love in words or with hugs. As I sit and reflect on him this month, the memories of Daddy hurt so good.

My earliest memories are of times spent in the garage watching my father work on cars. He loved vehicles of all types and seemed most content spending his days with his head buried under a hood. After he fixed all of the woes of the car or truck, he’d begin taping off windows for painting. He also hung tarps to protect articles in the garage from being sprayed. He was quick to remind me to remove personal items.

One day, I ran into the house without bringing my favorite doll. By the time I remembered, it was too late. Susie had been sprayed fire engine red on one side of her body. Daddy had told me to take her in the house but I had not and so for the remainder of the years I had her, I told everyone she’d fallen asleep at the beach and gotten sunburned. Memories of days spent in the garage with my daddy make me miss him all the more. There’s no more time with him but the memories hurt so good.

This is the time of year Daddy used to shine all the fire trucks for the parades. Although he did not serve, he was a very patriotic person. As chief of our volunteer fire department, he insisted trucks were driven in solemn remembrance of those who had given so much for our freedom during every town parade. One day, his friend drove the truck carrying my dad to his final resting place, having suffered a stroke in the line of duty. During this season of patriotic holidays, I remember and those memories hurt so good.

My daddy was raised knowing God and while he did not attend church and did not openly talk about the Lord with me until near his death, he instilled godly values in us. He often said “Be strong and courageous”, which I later came to understand as coming from the book of Joshua. Every time things get tough and the Lord reminds me to be strong and courageous as Joshua 1:9 says, I think of my dad. You know already-those memories hurt so good.

We see in 1 Kings 15:11 that Asa did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, as his father had done. David was a good example to Asa. Fathers are supposed to lead by example. My daddy led by example all of his life. He had a quiet strength that allowed him to lead his family and lead multitudes on job sites while building power plants and hydro dams. He spoke thoughtfully and his mouth was filled with wisdom. In part, it is the legacy he passed down to me. At times of my need to be pensive and quiet in order to make a wise decision, I think of my dad. Oh, those memories hurt so good.

My friends had dads who laughed with them, came to their games, cheered them on, encouraged them, and rejoiced with them. I wanted a dad like that, but my daddy was too busy working at a job that kept him away from home all week. I always wanted him to be proud of me but was often unsure because my dad wasn’t expressive. He gave nods of approval when I showed him my report card and asked about my week when he got home, but over the years he missed so much.

Somehow he managed time to appear for my high school and then college graduation. He gave me plaques with quotes reading “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” I suppose it was his way of encouraging me. In my later years, his sister told me that he talked to her a lot about my career and accomplishments and how proud he was of me. I never heard it from his lips, but I was happy she told me how he felt. Those memories of always trying to make him proud are bittersweet. They hurt so good.

It’s been two decades now since my daddy went to be with Jesus. The lessons he taught me every day I was with him continue resonating and I am often heard using the familiar phrase “Well, as my daddy would say…”. The impact he made continues to live on and be passed down to grandchildren he never met. I so often wish the kids could have met him and made memories with him that would have allowed them to reflect on time with him and also say “Those memories hurt so good.” While the youngers may not have known him face to face, they see him reflected in his children. Memories linger and his legacy lives on as I honor him and all he poured into me.

Exodus 20:12 (NIV) “Honor your father and mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”