Negative Replay

When your mind is on negative replay

Have you ever been at a point in your life where something negative was said or happened, or you made a mistake by saying or doing something wrong? What happened next? You kept hearing the negative words in your mind and you kept ‘seeing’ the unpleasant situation in your mind. That is what occurs when your mind is on negative replay. 

When your mind is in replay mode, you constantly play back or repeat things in your mind. Often you repeat just a part (the negative side) of the situation and keep thinking about it continuously. As a result, if you do not take care, you enter into a habit of obsessing over negative events that happened in the past. This is often coupled with negative effects on your spirit, body, and mind. A habit of replaying negative things in your mind can even be dangerous to your mental health, as it may cause (and subsequently prolong or intensify) depression, as well as weaken your ability to think and process emotions.

As negative as the effects are for your wellbeing, it may also be difficult to stop doing it. Your mind just keeps replaying negative things, causing you to paralyze your own mind and subsequently negatively affecting your life in general. When you try to ‘tell’ your mind to stop, perhaps you can stop repeating things for a minute. But after a while you will realize that you have started doing it again, much to your own dismay. Repeating negative things makes you feel generally bad and down and it does not give you peace. Rather it takes away your joy and peace in life. 

Why does your mind replay (negative) memories? 

Your mind (brain) replays experiences when you are at rest, to help you make decisions. But when your brain keeps repeating negative things, it becomes a nuisance and might possibly disturb your daily living. There are natural reasons for your mind to repeat itself and there are spiritual reasons. 

Natural reason 

Your brain never really switches off, not even when you sleep. When you rest, brain cells shoot to replay recent experiences – and this seems to improve your ability to make decisions. This replay happens in a region of your brain that is important for your memory. When you get stuck in continuous negative replay, however, it is no longer helpful but rather destructive and disruptive to your daily living.  

Spiritual reason 

Constantly repeating negative things in your mind is a common trick of the enemy. It is an attack to keep you in bondage and steal your joy. When the enemy can get you to feel miserable, he is happy. His intentions are the opposite of Jesus’ intentions for your life:

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10 (NLT).

Secondly, the enemy’s purpose is to divert your focus from Jesus. When he keeps you thinking about negative things, he automatically succeeds in letting you not think about God. He simply occupies your mind with negative things, to achieve his plans. It is important to note that not everything the enemy puts in your mind is a lie. What you are thinking of could have truly happened; the repetition of it in your mind, however, is a lie. 

As a Christian you should be aware of what is going on in your mind and take charge of your thoughts and feelings. That way you will enjoy a fulfilling Christian life. 

What do you replay in your mind? 

Usually, you repeat negative things in your mind. Positive things seem to fade away after time and your mind does stop repeating it after a while. The process of constantly thinking about the same things, which tend to be sad or dark, is called rumination. 

Well, you may think, it is not bad to think over and over again about things that have happened. You may feel that you can learn from it. But the issue is that when you keep repeating negativity in your mind, you get stuck in negative patterns of replaying past hurts without moving toward solutions. By dwelling on your problems, you stop generating new ways of thinking, new behaviors, and stop seeing new possibilities and solutions to your problems. With your mind on negative replay, you go over the same information repeatedly without change, and remain in a negative mindset.

Typical examples of negative replay

Common examples of a replaying mind are:

Things you said: 

You may have said something hurtful and now regret what you said. This usually occurs when you have said wrong things to people you care about. In your regret, your mind keeps replaying the words, making you feel even worse. You just keep hearing the hurting words in your mind, leading you into frustration instead of repenting and moving on.

It could also be that you simply made a verbal mistake and afterwards your mind keeps replaying the situation. Doing this keeps you stuck to the things you said, instead of learning your lesson and moving forward. 

Things you did: 

Okay, you did something wrong, and you know it. But instead of repenting and moving on, you keep ‘seeing’ the situation in your mind. You keep ‘beating’ yourself up for what you did. Well, it has happened; you cannot change that anymore. But you can change the way you experience it. Just leave it and let God handle it. 

Things you did not say:

A common example of repetition in our minds is when we should have said something, but we did not. Either you did not say anything at all when you should have reacted, or you actually said something, but you did not say what you wanted to say or not enough. In both cases, when you repeat the situation in your head continuously, you punish yourself by thinking of what you should have said. It could even cause you to get a headache when all you can think of is, “I should have said this”, or “I should have said that”, or “if I could have said ‘that’, this would not have occurred”, etc. The same thing can occur when you have been accused of something and you did not react. You may repeat in your mind that very thing you did not say but which could have been used for your defense. 

Things you did not do:

Likewise, there could be things you did not do but you should have done it. You cannot go back to the situation to redo it, so what does your mind do? It simply repeats the situation in your mind, and you keep doing what you should have done, but only in your mind.

Or when you have been accused of something you did not do, you can feel so bad and powerless (defenseless) that you keep hearing the condemnation in your mind. And since you know you did not do it and yet you were accused, it makes your mind more prone to keep repeating it and to defend yourself in your mind. 

Things that did not occur at all:

Funny enough, you could even repeat things in your mind that did not take place at all; yet you keep repeating them in your mind. Sometimes I catch myself having ‘conversations’ in my mind. For instance, a minor word exchange occurred with my husband after which I kept repeating the verbal exchange in my mind and added things to it that had never been said. When I do that, I am projecting into the future a conversation that never took place and most likely will never take place. Like, “I will say this, and then he will reply to it this way, and then I will react in this way, after which he will show an irritated face and say something insensitive, and then I will get hurt”. After some time, it is like I wake up and I realize that for a longer period I had this negative and non-existent conversation replaying in my mind. Unfortunately, these non-existing conversations have the power to make you feel bad. 

Thus, replaying negative things in your mind is a ‘bad habit’. But then, why do you do this so often? Why does your brain keep providing the negative information? And more importantly, what is the way out?

Solution

When your mind is full of memories of your negative experiences, your mind tends to switch to replay mode. However, you do not have to let that occur.  You have the ability to stop it. You do not have to allow negative thoughts to repeat themselves in your mind.

It may not seem like it, but when it comes to the thoughts you think – you have a choice. Thoughts enter your mind, which is normal, but you can choose which thoughts will stay and which ones you will throw out. You decide whether you will hang onto a thought or will let it go. This means that you have the power to change your thoughts. You can change your thoughts to mirror God’s thoughts. But you must do it. You need to act. It will not happen automatically. You must deliberately make the choice to change your mind and then act on it. 

As a Christian, you can pray and ask God to help you and draw your attention to it every time when your mind goes on negative replay. And then, just as with any audio device: push the STOP button. Just stop. Secondly, you have the Word of God to guide you. You can read encouraging scriptures, say them aloud, meditate on them, and make them your own by personalizing them. This will serve as your weapon against the enemy who tries to steal your joy.

Bible verses ready to use and assist you

There are many verses in the Bible that will help you to stop your mind from focusing on negative things. The below scriptures are just a few of them. 

What will help you to stop your mind from repeating negative things, is to let your mind reflect Christ and not the issues that are bothering you. A generally applicable verse to get your mind to reflect Christ, is:

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:5 (NKJV)

When your mind replays negativity, you are without peace. Therefore, change the focus of your mind and you will have peace. Focus your mind on God: 

“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV)

And when your mind misinforms you by repeating negative things, you can ‘catch’ those thoughts and put them in their place by using the following verse:

“Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NKJV)

My favorite verse to stop my mind from replaying negativity is a verse that is applicable under all circumstances:

“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

When you apply this verse to your daily thoughts you will be okay. Your mind will stay free from negative repetitions. You will simply think of good things, nice things, true things. And live a happy, peaceful, and fulfilled, Christian life. 

Now that you know that you can change the way you think and that you have the power to push the stop-button whenever your mind goes to replay mode, what do you do? How do you change your mindset permanently? 

Methods to stop your mind from replaying negative things 

When you repeat negative things in your mind on a regular basis it becomes a habit. Habits take time to form, and so does breaking a habit. Therefore, do not give up if initially you fall back into replaying these thoughts. Just go on, do not lose hope. Try it again. You can do it!

The following methods will assist you.

3-step-method 

You can use the simple three-step method of change based on the word of God:

• Forget what happened: “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past” (Isaiah 43:18; NASB1995); “Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man” (Ephesians 4:22; NKJV). 
• Divert the focus of your mind: “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2; NKJV).
• Renew your mind: “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Rom 12:2; NKJV); “and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24; NKJV). 

So, forget all that has happened to you: do not continue to repeat it in your mind. Do not focus on any negativity any longer, instead focus on God and His word. It is then that you will be able to renew your mind by thinking good thoughts, godly thoughts.

By following the above three-step process you will be able to build a positive mindset. Throughout the process, it is essential to submit your mind to the Holy Spirit. When you submit yourself daily to the Holy Spirit, you give way to Him to change and control your mind. The Holy Spirit can change your thoughts, feelings, intents, and actions, because the mind of Christ can control your mind through the Holy Spirit.

3-step-process

When you embark on your journey of changing the way you think, start with removing all existing negative and repetitive thoughts from your mind. Catch them and throw them out. After you have done this (emptied your mind), you are ready to prevent your mind from entering replay mode again. You do that by following the below action process. 

Memorize and apply the easy three-action-point process at any point in time:

• Recall. Remember that you control your own mind.
• Reject. Do not allow negative thoughts to come in.
• Refill. Fill your mind with godly thoughts.

How can you ensure that your thoughts are godly thoughts? By praying, reading the Word of God, filling yourself with God’s living Word, worshipping God, singing praises, trusting God, letting the Holy Spirit lead you, and by asking God to help you.

Easy reminders

I know that in your busy daily schedules you do not always have time to think ‘too much’ about changing your mindset. In those instances, the following reminders will be helpful. Memorize them and use them as much as possible. You could write them down on a piece of paper and paste it at a place where you will see it regularly. Or you could create a digital memo on any of your gadgets (and program a reminder ‘alarm’). 

Reminder 1:

Forget (your past)

Divert (your thoughts)

Renew (your mind)

Reminder 2:

Recall (that you control your mind)

Reject (negative thoughts)

Refill (with Godly thoughts).

©copyright 2021; Christel Owoo

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