Pray Anyway
The room was silent after Michelle dropped her bomb. “I have cancer,” she stated. Her normally gregarious personality was stoic as she explained what she was about to face.
This admission rocked me to my core. I knew she didn’t know Jesus, and I felt an overwhelming desire to introduce them. After the shock wore off, people slowly started back to their day, trying to assume some normalcy.
I followed Michelle up to her office and offered to pray with her. Her response was yes, please. Most importantly pray that my hair doesn’t fall out during treatment. Michelle is a beautiful woman with hair Jennifer Aniston would envy. It concerned me that her biggest concern was her hair. I prayed with her that day, and every Wednesday for more than six months.
Several groups did fund raisers for her medical bills, including residents on our campus. Our leadership team was away for a conference when the campus planned a prayer vigil for her. My boss gave me permission to miss a class so I could agree with my co-workers in prayer at that same time.
One day she announced to our group that the doctors had exhausted the normal paths to beat the cancer and she would be part of a pilot program experimenting with a new drug. We were devastated! Michelle was blessed with a tribe of women at work that walked this journey with her. So they decided to surprise her with flowers, teddy bears and love when she was receiving that first treatment. You can imagine their surprise when they discovered that no one at the clinic had heard of her.
There is so much more to this story, but I want to focus on the betrayal so many felt when it was discovered she never had cancer. Her tribe of girlfriends were taking meals over to her house, helping with her children and supporting her financially. Her children’s schools arranged fund raisers, as did our staff and the residents where we worked. I personally spent hours in prayer for her and for her family. I gave to the fund raisers, and helped her at work, like so many others.
I was so angry with her. And a little bit at God. Why did He put her on my heart so often when she wasn’t ill at all. I prayed for her physical healing, her mental wellness and most importantly her eternal soul. I prayed daily, sometimes hourly for this woman breaking my heart with her illness and lost soul.
“For we do not have an enduring city here; instead, we seek the one to come. Therefore, through Him, let us continually offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, that is, the fruit of lips that confess his name. Don’t neglect to do what is good and to share, for God is pleased with such sacrifices.” Hebrews 13:14-16 CSB
My Pastor reminded me that while the prayers I paid for her physical health might not be necessary, the prayers I prayed for her soul were still relevant. He also said that her mental wellness was at stake and God knew that and honored those prayers over her life. He told me prayers are never wasted and to pray anyway.
I would like to tell you that was all I needed to hear to be ok with all the hours of prayer, support and dollars I gave in support of her. It took me a long time to get over it. My humanity and to be honest, my pride, were keeping me from forgiving and continuing to pray for her.
Today, I over the sting over her betrayal. I know this world is not our home. I know where I will spend my eternity, but I still don’t know where Michelle will spend hers. So I will continue to pray for her, that she might meet Jesus and know His incredible peace that passes understanding. But more importantly that she will know the love of One who died for her.
Friends, we don’t always see the complete picture but God does. Our prayers are never wasted, even if we don’t like the outcome. Rest in that encouragement today, and pray anyway.
