Questioning God with Julian

I first learned of the mystic Julian of Norwich several years ago. She was a 14th century anchoress who lived in England during a time of political, spiritual and social turmoil.. An anchoress was a woman who took vows to withdraw from society (following the example of John the Baptizer) and live a life of prayer and contemplation, devoted to knowing God. She was literally sealed into a cell, which was often attached to a church, for the remainder of her days. When she took her vows as an anchoress, the priest would perform burial rights, signifying her death to the world.

Although there are days when my introverted self feels like sequestering would be a dream come true, the reality of a life of confinement is overwhelming. An anchoress was never able to walk around freely again. She took her vows of seclusion in a symbolic ceremony that portrayed her own death. A priest would have sprinkled ashes on the anchoress, and then she would have been sealed in a small room, an anchorhold, for the rest of her life. Typically, a servant had access to the anchoress to take care of her daily tasks and to bring meals. The anchoress would have participated in daily Mass and Holy Communion from a small window opening into the chapel. Her small window to the outside world allowed average people to visit the anchoress for advice and prayers. An anchoress’s days would have been spent following the hours of worship in the church, in prayer and contemplation, and in counseling those seeking spiritual advice.

Julian was an anchoress who lived during the fourteenth century – a time fraught with civil unrest, political turmoil, and the Black Death (which destroyed as much as a third of Norwich, England’s population). It is thought that perhaps Julian’s own husband and children perished from the Plague. As a young girl, Julian must have had incredible faith – she prayed for visions to experience the reality of Christ’s crucifixion. When she was 30, she became desperately ill, perhaps with the Plague, and those around her thought she was dying. A priest came to administer last rites, and he told Julian to focus on a crucifix with the form of Jesus during her last moments. To the amazement of the priest and her mother, Julian did not die. Instead of dying, she experienced visions in which she saw the death of Christ on the cross and was shown the incredible love of God for His world.

At a time when the Church was proclaiming that the Black Death was God’s punishment on people for not following Him, Julian’s visions of God’s love were revolutionary. Julian believed in the mercy of God on His people. Julian did not claim to understand everything about God or her visions, but she focused on the love of God. In one of her visions, she was told “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.” Julian lived in a time that was filled with political strife, a corrupt church, incredible suffering and poverty, and fear of the Plague. Like many of us today, she didn’t understand how everything could possibly “be well”. She asks “Good Lord, how can all be well considering the great damage that has come by sin to Thy creatures?” Julian wrote that, in response to her questions, God showed her “a marvelous, high secret (mystery) hidden in God, which secret He shall openly make known to us in heaven. In this secret knowledge we shall truly see the reason why He allowed sin to come, and in this sight we shall endlessly rejoice in our Lord God.” Julian trusted in the goodness of God even though she acknowledged that His ways are mysterious.

Just as so many of us are looking for answers today, Julian looked for answers during the 14th century. During her lifetime, the Church was divided, politics were corrupt, racism against Jewish people was rampant, and people lived in terror of the Plague. Today, our physical lives look much different than those of Julian’s time, but our fears and questions are so very similar. The Church is suffering from divisions and imperfect people, politics are still disreputable, and racism, fear, and COVID-19 (our own version of the Plague) have left us grappling for answers.

Many of us have asked the same questions. Does God see? Does He care? Will everything truly “be well”? We question God and search for answers, walled up in our homes instead of an anchorhold, but ultimately, I think we are left in the same place Julian was. We, like Julian, have to trust that “we shall know in heaven…In this knowledge we shall truly see the cause why he allowed sin to come, and in this sight we shall rejoice forever.” Maybe my questions will never have answers to my satisfaction here on earth, but I hope I can be faithful like Julian, trusting in the goodness of God who holds the whole world safely in His hands as “something small, no bigger than a hazel-nut.”

Sources
“Anchorite.” Wikipedia, 26 Aug. 2021, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchorite. Accessed 30 Sept. 2021.

Derusha, Michelle. 50 Women Every Christian Should Know : Learning from Heroines of the Faith. Grand Rapids, Michigan, Baker Books, A Division Of Baker Publishing Group, [] ©7, 2014.

John-Julian, Father O.J.N, and Of Norwich Julian. The Complete Julian of Norwich. Brewster, Mass., Paraclete Press, 2009.