Re-Invent
When I picked that word for this year I felt highly inspired by God to do it. He must have been thinking that it was time to shake things up a bit.
Hebrews 12:26-27 says, "At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.
What this says to me is that sometimes things have to be shaken up to get rid of what needs to change. I am not saying in any way that God brings bad things upon us. No way! God is good, loving, kind in every way… He is LOVE. He handles us like we are HIS children. If we have to shake a piece of candy out of a child’s hand sometimes it’s not so pretty. He’s teaching us to hold onto everything with open hands.
The first really big shakeup was in May when Marty came down with Covid and had to go into the hospital. He was very sick. He was a very healthy vibrant person before he got this virus. It was unbelievable to watch him deteriorate. Days and days of 103 temp. Going to hospital only to get sent home the first time. More days of 103 and returning to hospital almost gone from the earth. He did have an amazing miracle in the hospital after five days. Gold came into the room and his lungs started popping like Rice Krispies. He was home in two days.
He came home on oxygen and was still very ill. I had to fight for my faith at that time to know that it would finally pass. I was taken back to the thing that I have learned all my life… it’s a process.
Yes, it’s been a process…it’s lead me to do things that I wouldn’t have normally done before. Do things that I feel led to do even though he doesn’t. It’s made me have to “Let Go and Let God more,” and practice the things that I’ve learned in recovery.
I took two trips this year, one to my Lemongrass Spa business conference in Orlando which was wonderful. Just a small time later to visit our daughter’s family and five grandkids. It was there that I noticed a personality change in Marty. He was not the same as he was before. Could he be being “reinvented?” Could I also be?
We got home and things went well, it felt good to be home. I joined in something that I felt very called to do at my church and had been waiting for my whole life. He didn’t want to commit to it. He was behind me doing it, but he wasn’t ready. You know what? That’s ok. It takes time to get over being that sick and Marty and I were in a process! I even realize as I’m writing this that his strength is still not 100% yet and it takes time for some things.
The biggest blessing happened in October when we got to go with my brother to Arlington Cemetery and see my dads funeral. It was such a surreal experience. It really touched Marty’s heart because he had also been in the army and has been walking out transformation from PTSD.
As soon as we arrived at Washington D.C. I got the call that my mom had fallen and was being taken to the hospital. They went ahead the next day and saw some sites and I spent my time in a hotel room finding care for my mama. They X-rayed her and no broken bones. Two weeks and much pain later she went to another hospital to find two fractures in her back. This all was lots to process! Could I be being reinvented?
Then a young man that I hadn’t known very long was cleaning a gun and accidentally lost his life. He was only 13 and turned 14 on my birthday. Just a day or so after the tragedy. This has changed our community of believers. Could we all be being reinvented?
My mom is still in rehab and slowly, slowly starting to walk with much help. I’m sure she’s getting tired of not being able to go home for so long. She seems to do well a few days and then not be able to do the physical therapy for a few days. More process going on. We have had to go in and find her clothes after laundry and get them all back into her room. We have had to personally talk to nurses and beg them to shower her. We’ve had to call a talk to the Alliance in our region to help get her the care there that she is supposed to be getting. All new territory for me.
Then the last thing…I had been on medication for an infection and at the tenth day my fever shot up to 102.5 and stayed all night. I went to urgent care and got tested for everything and they gave me a strong antibiotic shot plus sent me home with strong antibiotics. In a few hours no fever…went home and rested. That night fever again so I decided to go to the ER. Tests all came back great. In the meantime I start getting texts from my ex husband that he is getting all my bills from anything medical, what? I don’t even know what his address is? Ok, just like always in my life… I have to trust something bigger and more powerful than me to deal with all of this….
What is being reinvented in me? Time will tell when the process is over. But I do know that it led me back to sitting still and writing. Letting my voice be heard, and digging deeper. It’s almost time to pick a word for next year and I think my word for next year will be “Peace!”
Numbers 6:24–26
“The Lord bless you
and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”’
