She Irritates Me
A reader writes: My sister irritates me so much. It makes me feel bad about our relationship.
I have a life hack that gets me out of irritation for another person pretty fast. I use a step-by-step method. It works so much better if you can write it down, because then you can see your thinking and that reinforces the transformation.
But if it’s not possible to write it down, just let your mind wander over the three steps of this life hack.
STEP #1: List three things you love about your sister
STEP #2: Think back of your happiest memory of her
STEP #3: Remind yourself of a time she overcame something very hard in her life
These steps may seem so simple, but they are backed by scientific psychological findings. We now know for a fact when you change the way you think about someone, you automatically change your feelings towards her.
Perhaps it feels counterintuitive to start with your thinking when you want to change the way you feel about someone, but it aligns beautifully with that wonderfully powerful verse from 2 Corinthians 5:10, where Paul says, “we take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
By choosing to deliberately think positive things about someone you’ll first change your feelings, but then also your behavior towards her. The result? A much better relationship.
Risa Haasbroek is a certified life coach who helps Christian women become calm and confident by fusing Biblical truths with cognitive psychology. Follow her on Instagram at @risa4coaching.
Thank you Risa for sharing this piece of advice. I understand the logic of putting what you suggest into use. I’m thinking of marriages, how wonderful it would be to focus on the good things about one’s mate, instead of those little irritations.