Where Art Thou?

Genesis 3:8,9: And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of day. And the Lord God called unto Adam and said unto him, “Where art thou?’  On that day God was looking for Adam, not the physical Adam but the spirit of Adam, because sinned had separated Adam and God and disrupted their fellowship, their intimate relationship.  The time that they shared with one another.  

I know that in this day and time “sin” isn’t spoken much of, but “sin” separates us from the intimate fellowship with God.   I know from personal experience how Adam must have felt on that day when he hid himself because of shame.  There was a moment in my walk with the Lord that I began to live outside of his will, tempted as Adam was with something that didn’t look harmful and was delightful to my taste deceived by seduction of “it isn’t going to hurt you.”  “God knows your heart.”  “Look they go to church and is still being blessed.” So, I disobeyed the warning and took a bite of my forbidden fruit, for me it was getting involved in an ungodly relationship, going to parties, drinking, and living what I believed to be the good life, materialism.  Every Sunday I sat in the House of the Lord but this time it was different I felt so far away from Him, when I prayed it was a hollow sensation deep inside, emptiness, a deep void.  It didn’t matter how much shopping I did, how much money I was getting, how many trips I was taking, how many parties I attended, I felt naked and ashamed and I could hear the voice of the Lord calling out to me, “WHERE ARE YOU?”  I hid by ignoring the voice with more drinking, more shopping, spending more time with my man, and partying actually to sum it up more time “running and trying to hid.” But His voice drowned out everything, and there was no escape from void I felt that only got deeper and deeper, and what started off as fun and adventurous became dull and unfulfilling.  Although I felt ashamed for allowing myself to be deceived, battered and beaten down from the weight of sin, unhappy and empty I could no longer hid and one evening at home I got on my knees, with tears streaming down my face, voice quivering I answered “Here I am Lord” asking for forgiveness and in an instant, I felt his presence.  His love flooded my soul and my spirit felt light and alive again, and just like before I could feel his presence and the shame went away.   That was the beginning of our renewed relationship and 30 years later it’s still going strong.