Women Who Inspire: Julie Este-McDonald, counselor, coach and consulting

This week Christian Women Living Magazine’s Women Who Inspire comes from Louisiana. She has felt the sting of a hurricane and turned it into a way to help others who need help during difficult times. Meet Julie Este-McDonald.

Cyndi Kay Green: Please give us a brief introduction and life history.
Julie Este-McDonald: I was born and raised in Lake Charles Louisiana. I currently am a Licensed Counselor and Life Coach and have started a nonprofit called Salt and Light Collaborative, Inc. I have been married to my husband Jorge for 18 years, and we have three boys- Mateo (15), Carlos (12), and Mauricio (9). I grew up with a large blended family, so I have a total of five sisters and one brother, ranging in age from 48 to 22. I grew up pretty active in my church, especially in my teen years. I grew up Catholic, and at different times in my childhood thought about being a nun, so my interest in ministry started early. I just loved the idea of living your life committed to the mission of the work of Jesus Christ and helping people. I went to Xavier University of Louisiana in New Orleans on a pre-med scholarship but started to take psychology classes and developed a love for psychology. Once I graduated I thought about studying forensic psychology, social psychology, and organizational psychology, but finally settled on going to graduate school to pursue a master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling. Upon finishing my master’s degree, I started working for a nonprofit in New Orleans providing counseling and managing a grant that funded a program that provided services for victims of crime. That meant that a large part of the population that I worked with included victims of domestic violence, rape, and molestation. During that time, I also taught psychology part-time as an adjunct instructor at Delgado Community College. I got married during graduate school and we had our first son in 2005. I decided to quit my full-time job to focus on being a mom. Soon, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and moved us to my childhood home of Lake Charles, Louisiana. I was then a stay-at-home mom for about 11 years. I decided to start working again in 2017 when my kids started school.

CKG: Can you give us a summary on your journey with Christ — from the time you accepted Christ, to how you started in ministry.
JM: I remember first having a personal relationship with Christ at a young age, while dealing with my parents’ divorce. My faith was my constant and what comforted me during the shifting, more difficult times in my life. I grew up going to church but didn’t really read the Bible very much or study it. During my college years, I strayed more from my walk with Jesus. I found myself eventually becoming more interested in going out to parties and clubs than going to church. Once I got married, we found a church in New Orleans and made connections there, but that was later disrupted by our displacement from Hurricane Katrina. Once we moved to Lake Charles, it was really difficult for us to find a church where we felt fed and connected. It just so happened that one of our neighbors was starting a church and invited us to attend service. It took us about two years to take them up on that invitation. But when we finally decided to attend a service, I felt like I was home. However, we were slow to get involved or too invested. I remember one night I was listening to a recording of a sermon that our pastor had preached. I don’t remember a lot about that sermon, but I do remember that it was about Rahab. There was something about her story and about God’s goodness that struck me. That we can bring him the worst of what we’ve done, and He not only gives us grace, mercy, and forgiveness, but empowers us so that the mistakes that we have made can be used to bring good and help others. I found myself confronted with the mistakes that I had made and was overcome with thankfulness for the goodness and mercy of God. It was in that moment that I decided to dedicate my life to God and to the way He wanted me to live. I got involved on the teams at church, and soon I decided to start a MOPS chapter at the church. I remember being at the church early one day to prepare for a MOPS meeting, and the Pastor stopped to say hi and see how things were going. I remember feeling the Holy Spirit speak to me and tell me that I would be working at the church one day. I laughed to myself thinking, “yeah, right!” I was a stay-at-home mom and had not seen myself working on a church staff- I wasn’t holy enough for that. A year or so later, again, after two years of invitations, I attended my first BSF meeting. BSF stands for Bible Study Fellowship. It’s a rather intense Bible study that lasts for the duration for a school year. You basically spend nine months studying a book of the Bible. There is homework six days a week. It should be noted that this was my first ever Bible study. But I loved it! BSF gave me a love and passion for Bible study- I will always be thankful for that. Within a few months of joining, I became a group leader. My husband, who at the time didn’t understand my commitment to BSF, wanted me to quit because he felt like it was taking up too much time from us as a couple and from the family- especially since the days of BSF classes were held on his off days. I talked to our teaching leader about it because I didn’t really want to quit, but she encouraged me to honor my husband. I prayed about it, and the answer to my prayer soon arrived in me getting a call from the Finance Coordinator at my church. She wanted to know if I would be able to work a couple of days a week at the church helping her. I talked to my husband about it and he agreed that it was a good idea, because I could work and still spend time with him on his off days. Soon, I was asked to work full-time on the staff as the Connections Coordinator.

CKG: Tell us about Salt and Light Collaborative and how it came to be?
JM: Eventually, I had jobs at that church as the Connections Coordinator, Event Coordinator, and the Lead Pastor’s Executive Assistant. Sometimes all at the same time! Because of my background, I also helped with counseling at the church. I ended up going back to graduate school to get a post-graduate certification in Pastoral Counseling. I learned how to take my psychological training and incorporate theology and spirituality in order to help people dealing with mental health and spiritual issues. I found that in a lot of circumstances, church staff, leaders, and volunteers had not received training on how to deal with mental health issues. On a given Sunday, we may have someone come into service that was suicidal or delusional. Or someone in another type of crisis. I was on staff at our church, but not every church has a counselor. I began to see a gap in services for Christian counselors that were specifically trained in psychology, theology, and spirituality. I also saw a need for working with churches to train and educate about the importance of taking care of both your spiritual health and your emotional/mental health. I felt like the Lord was leading me to address these gaps. I decided to start Salt and Light Collaborative, Inc. to address those needs. I left my full-time work on the church staff and started full-time at Salt and Light Collaborative in April, although my church still employs me as a consultant.

CKG: How does your faith influence your company?
JM: My faith is at the cornerstone of my nonprofit. Not all of my clients are Christians, but that doesn’t mean that in a session I can exhibit the characteristic of God or pray for them like I do for my Christian clients. Being that Salt and Light Collaborative is both a counseling agency and a ministry, my faith is at the root of all the work I do. My faith is what birthed the organization, it is what guides it, it is what energizes it.

CKG: Tell us about a time that God directly answered a prayer.
JM: Oh well, God is constantly answering my prayers. I might not always like the answer, but He does answer them, lol! From the time when I prayed about whether or not I should quit BSF and was offered a job at the church, to when I prayed about starting Salt and Light Collaborative and God started to open doors for me to start the organization and grow quickly. God consistently answers prayers when I feel overwhelmed with starting a nonprofit during a pandemic, while my kids are attending school online and being displaced again by Hurricane Laura. The Lord has answered my prayers by encouraging me, guiding me, and helping me to pull it together and boss up when I need to. I absolutely could not do any of this without God being there to answer my prayers.

CKG: How do you think the social distancing protocols will change our social behavior and mentalities in the near future and beyond?
JM: I definitely think there will be a period of readjustment. We’ve had to adapt to a new reality, and we won’t go back to the way things used to be. I think we’ve learned to think about learning and work and socializing in different ways. I think we’ve learned how to slow down more, and how to appreciate those close to us more. One thing I notice is that the number of people seeking counseling has dramatically increased. With being less busy and more isolated, we have had to confront a lot of feelings that we were able to brush aside before and weren’t really equipped to manage. I think the same thing has happened spiritually- we’ve had to adjust to still need to develop spiritually without the support of being in church in person on Sundays. But I think at the end, for those that confront those things and seek help to deal with the emotional and spiritual exploration, we have the potential to come out of this stronger, healthier, and more developed.

CKG: At what point did you know that you were being led to a counseling career?
JM: I think I first felt led to it in graduate school. I’ve always enjoyed listening to people’s stories and walking with them through tough times. However, I found that as I got back into counseling after growing more in my relationship with the Lord, it added another dimension to my role as a counselor and helped me to connect with people both emotionally and spiritually. Growing spiritually gave me a deeper level of empathy, mercy, and discernment than I had in my earlier counseling career. I think that growing in my faith made me a better counselor.

CKG: Give us an example of when God was the only provision you had.
JM: Oh goodness, that would be right now! We’re currently displaced by Hurricane Laura, so we’re having to bounce around between hotels and Airbnb’s. We’ll finally be able to move into an apartment about an hour away from my city on September 14th so that we can be stable in one location and I can start working again. It’s definitely a chaotic and stressful time. And yet, I see how God has been providing for us along the way. He’s been providing for us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Even with everything going on, I find so much joy in what I see Him doing in our lives and have so much gratitude. I can see how even months ago He was at work and how obeying Him then has led to us being able to manage what is happening now.

CKG: What inspires you?
JM: The first thing is the goodness of God. His love, mercy, and goodness are truly a marvelous thing to behold! The second thing is the Bible. I am passionate about the Bible! It is an amazing work that was inspired by God but also written by these literary geniuses. There is so much wisdom and drama and entertainment in those books! I love how if we study the characters of the Bible, we realize that they were just like us- they made the same mistakes and had the same struggles. If God can use them, He can definitely use us! The third thing that inspires me is the human spirit. We are capable of the worst, for sure, but we are also capable to so much good. The human spirit is incredibly resilient. When we connect with the author and finisher of our faith and step into our purpose, it is absolutely inspirational and heart-warming, and beautiful. That’s one of my favorite things about counseling- to see someone realize the truth of who they are and step into that and live it out. It’s amazing!

CKG: Best piece of advice you’ve ever received.
JM: In graduate school I had a professor who was a nun. I remember going to her because I was feeling like I had all these questions about my faith. When I told her that I had questions, she replied, “Good. It’s good to question.” I learned that it’s good to have questions, as long as you seek the answers. Especially in matters of faith. I think we are meant to have struggles with it so that it drives us to The Word and prayer to read and study and wrestle with those questions…and then do it all some more.

CKG: Do you find that you are seeing a bigger influx of people looking for counseling services since the covid-19 pandemic?
JM: Absolutely! There has been an increase in symptoms of anxiety and depression for sure. There are also instances where people maybe have not really dealt with the trauma in their lives and now that we are isolated and have less distractions, are having to deal with the trauma. The amount of people seeking counseling has increased dramatically.

CKG: How do you encourage those who are feeling abandoned during this time of social isolation?
JM: I think it’s important to differentiate between feeling alone and feeling lonely. This is absolutely a time to feel lonely. We are made for connection, not isolation. That’s part of the reason why we’re having such an increase in symptoms of anxiety and depression- we’re not made to live this way. But we’re not alone. Our faith says that our Father is always with us, even when we aren’t necessarily aware of it. We have to connect in different ways right now, but it won’t be this way forever. And if you are struggling, reach out! Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and admit that you are struggling. Reach out to your friends, family, church, or a counselor. You don’t have to manage this alone!

CKG: How do you see ministry and churches changing after the pandemic is over and the gathering restrictions have been removed?
JM: I think initially we will have smaller in-person services. I also think that in general churches have had to learn and develop new skills to reach people virtually. We no longer can rely on people showing up Sunday in person. Churches are going to have to focus more on developing their online services and content. We’re going to have to become more digitally savvy. As attenders, we are becoming accustomed to attending online. It used to be that on Sunday you were limited to attending churches in your town or city. But now you can virtually attend church all over the country or the world on a Sunday. I think that the way we approach ministry, outreach, and Sunday service is going to be changed indefinitely.

CKG: How do you see the world in general looking after the pandemic is over? What do you think our “new normal” will look like as a society?
JM: I think that we have learned new ways to function overall. I think that there will be some people who will want to have parties and some that will be really hesitant to get out. I think that we have learned about the importance of precautions and prevention. The thing is that COVI-19 won’t necessarily disappear- we’ll learn how to manage it by developing immunity or vaccines or a little of both. I think that this period of time has revealed a lot about us as individuals and about us as a country on psychological, sociological, and spiritually levels, and that we will be changed forever because of that. It truly is a pivotal moment in history where we have to potential to grow into better versions of ourselves if we choose to do so. I read a book recently that discussed the idea of liminal space- the idea that there is this space where you are not who you were, but not yet who you’re going to be. Think about the Israelites in the desert. They were no longer slaves, but they were not yet their own nation. The desert was a liminal space for them. God used that time to train them about who He was and who they were made to be and shape them in order to prepare them for the work for which He had created them. I feel like 2020 is a liminal space for us. God is shaping us (as the world, as a nation, and especially as the church) and preparing us for the work for which He has created us. This is the time for us to be reflective and seeking God’s will for us- not relying on our plans and agendas but asking for His guidance and grace. With that in mind, I hope that the end of the pandemic will bring about in us a people who have grown and developed in preparation to be fully submitted to God’s will and plan for us.

CKG: Is there anything else you would like to say?
JM: I’ve been spending time developing a theory and method of counseling and spiritual development. God has really been putting it on my heart lately to start writing about that and creating different courses and studies to help people develop spiritually and emotionally. I have ideas in my head for some online courses, some YouTube videos, a blog, and even a podcast! I just have this burden on my heart to help people step out of shame and find joy, peace, love, and purpose. Keep your eyes open for it or go become a member of my website to get updates! Of course, I’m also available to work with people on a more personal level through counseling or coaching.

CKG: How can our readers get in touch with you?
JM: I have a website: www.saltandlightcollaborative.com. You can also contact me on Instagram (@saltandlightcollaborative) or Facebook (Salt and Light Collaborative). You can also email me at julie@saltandlightcollaborative.com or call me at 337-426-1144.

Thank you Julie, for sharing your story and your ministry with us at Christian Women Living Magazine.